Why Won’t You Remember? by Toni Elizabeth Sar’h

I want to tell you a story.  It is a tale of a little girl whose father left earth when she was 5 years old.  That little girl is me.

One of the basics that my partner, Philip, and I have created within our relationship is putting everything on the table.  This allows us to see each other through the lens of what each of us truly is rather than what we might want the other person to believe we are to the relationship.  From the get-go, I told Philip that my father died when I was 5 years old, I didn’t get to say “good-bye”, my mother did not allow a mourning period for her children and that this experience lives within my 

cellular memory.

Part of the outcome of this childhood occurrence is my desire to make sure I say a real “good-bye” to the people I love when leaving them for a period of time or hanging up on the telephone.  So, Philip and I have devised a real “good-bye” moment each time he goes off on a job since I am working in home office.  It is not dramatic and we don’t make a big deal of it.  It is simply a moment of departing 

when we take the time to say “good-bye” to each other with a hug and a kiss.

Last week we had an experience within this aspect of our relationship.  Philip told me he was loading up the car to go to a job (land maintenance) and I said I was getting ready to do a reading.  At first glance, this would be the normal conversation we would have before we “leave” each other’s company.  He went outside and I went into my office to prepare to record a soul reading.

As I was looking out the window shifting vibrations for a reading, I saw his car drive out of the driveway.  At first I didn’t believe that was what I was seeing because he hadn’t said “good-bye”.  Then I slipped into the awareness of being 5 years old and I literally felt the rush of adrenaline flow through my body as panic overtook me.  I stood up and began to run out of the house to chase him down even though by now he was far down the street.

I experienced myself split into several parts:  1) I will call this one toni with a lower case “t” to differentiate her from my usual Toni-ness.  She is the 5 year old; 2) Toni is the observer who knows what is going on and is watching the experience, and 3) a multi-dimensional overlay of both and much more that was accessing a larger picture of the entire process.

The toni inner voice said, “No, no, he can’t leave.  He didn’t say good-bye.  Somebody stop him.”  She had tears in her eyes and felt very alone.  This was an actual physical experience felt within this body.

Toni thought, “It’s no good to go after him.  I won’t catch up with him even in the car because I don’t know exactly where the job is so I can’t follow him.  I am sure he thought I was already doing my reading otherwise he would have said “goodbye”.  He is very considerate and would not simply drive off.  Sit down and breathe.”

The overlay was experiencing breathing into the entire experience, simply letting it be, giving a bit of a chuckle and wondering, “Where is this going to go?  There are so many different outcomes available.  Shall I choose one?  No, I will simply let it all unfold and see how it goes moment to moment.”

I recorded the soul reading and was about to begin a second recorded reading when I saw Philip’s car drive into the driveway.  I went out to meet him and told him what I had experienced when he left without saying “good-bye”.

Philip told me that he had come into the house to do just that when he heard a voice coming from the office and believed I was already doing my reading so he left rather than disturb me.  I told him that what he had heard was my voicemail which I get as audio voicemail on my computer.  I was listening to a message from someone who had called me on the phone and who had left a message.

We talked about what I had experienced and how many different meanings it contained, what available outcomes there were to the situation and, giving each other a real big hug, had a great laugh over the multi-dimensionality of being in so many places at once.

Later in the week, I was relating the story to a group of people.  Each person had a different meaning for the story.  Some believed I was living in separation because I thought that Philip and I were separate when he left the driveway.  Another person felt great concern that I had not experienced the grief I was due from the death of my father.  Still another felt that perhaps we were making too much of a mountain out of a mole hill about aspects of our relationship.  And on it goes.

Now, here is how I see it:  Every experience we have in our physical body remains within the cellular structure of our body for the length of our lives.  Even if we decide to “process” something to feel clearer about it, the living of it is etched into our soul record and therefore in the present physical body.  It is the idea that we should not be having these experiences or that we need to process them away 

that is the detrimental factor to living and re-membering fully.  So long as you believe that you need to push something away, change it into something else, pretend that it is not there or castigate yourself in any way for the physical experiences you are having, to that degree will you not know what you are.  You are a complete culmination of all of your experiences (in this dimension and also within your complete soul record).  Deny one and you deny all.

At the same time, one of the multi-dimensional observations of which I am very aware was exemplified by what one of the people in that group did come back and tell me.  He said that after going home and thinking about what I had told them he realized how unavailable he was in his own relationship and changed that with his girlfriend – then and there.  

So:  Did I have the experience of watching Philip drive away so that I could tell the group my story and that one person could change his relationship?  How many other people were affected who have not yet come back to tell me?  How much closer are Philip and I now because of what we lived through together?  Is there someone reading this article right now who is going to change something in their 

life because of my telling the story?

I could go on and on yet I believe you get it.  You won’t re-member all you are, what you are and how to live that consciously until you fully welcome every single piece of you however your show up.  It is really very simply.  Want to remember what you are?  Then, re-member all of you right now.

--

Toni Elizabeth Sar’h Petrinovich is a Master Teacher, mystic and quantum physical researcher with a ministerial doctorate in metaphysics.  She is the author of The Call – Awakening the Angelic Human, and its accompanying CD, DNA Re-Awakening,  You – A Field Guide, Finding an End to Seeking, DeLight of the Orbs and Speaking of Light. Toni teaches metaphysics and the sacred connection within through her Meta yoU classes, guided meditation CDs, DVD production and video presentations. www.youaresacred.com

"How to Become Your Own Loving Parent" -ACA, ACOA, ACODF.

At Adult Children Of Alcoholics meetings and in ACA books we learn that we need to become out own loving parents. The ACA Solution states:

"We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect." 

and

"You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting." 

But beyond these lofty goals there is not a lot of explanation of the mechanics of how this is supposed to happen. Just how does one become a loving, nurturing parent to themselves when they haven't experienced this in real life? One cannot give what they do not possess. Or, as Drs. Cloud and Townsend have said, it's a bit like expecting a car with an empty gas tank to fill itself up.

And what if your internal parent is judgmental and harsh? Or exacting, intolerant and perfectionistic? Then you may be just replicating the past and reinforcing your own dysfunction. It's not enough to just come out of denial and face the pain of the past. That only goes so far. That pain needs to be comforted, that hurt child needs to be loved. This is perhaps the most important part of the process.

Here is an insight into the exercise of discovering your inner child AND becoming your own NURTURING parent:

"First, one becomes conscious of his or her own inner child. Remaining unconscious is what empowers the dissociated inner child to take possession of the personality at times, to overpower the will of the adult. Next, we learn to take our inner child seriously, and to consciously communicate with that little girl or boy within: to listen to how he or she feels and what he or she needs from us here and now.
The often frustrated primal needs of that perennial inner child–for love, acceptance, protection, nurturance, understanding–remain the same today as when we were children. As pseudo-adults, we futilely attempt to force others into fulfilling these infantile needs for us. But this is doomed to failure. What we didn’t sufficiently receive in the past from our parents as children must be confronted in the present, painful though it may be.
We should not as adults now expect others to meet all of these unfulfilled childhood needs. They cannot. Authentic adulthood requires both accepting the painful past and the primary responsibility for taking care of that inner child’s needs, for being a “good enough” parent to him or her now–and in the future."- Psychology Today, Stephen Diamond, Ph.D., practicing psychotherapist.

I believe that becoming your own parent is a big step with a large learning curve for those that did not get it when they were young. So be gentle and patient with yourself. Go slow. In trying moments, ask your child what they need from you most. Is it a hug? An understanding tone and reassurance that it's going to be alright? Or simply to be recognized that they are present?

If you feel resistance to acting on the last four sentences above, ask yourself why. Is that your "judgmental" parent rearing it's ugly head, ready to scold you for having such foolish thoughts? Use this reaction not as a reason to further beat yourself up but simply to gauge how nurturing you are being to your own self right now.

Then ask your inner child how he or she feels and what they need from you here and now. Take a small step and be just a tad more nurturing to yourself than usual. And keep doing it consistently, especially during difficult situations when your inner kid needs you the most.

The more your inner child can trust you to be there for them, the more they will come out of the shadows to play and be free!

--
Original post here: http://adultchildrenaca.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-to-become-your-own-loving-parent.html

Dying to Live, by Lynne Forrest.

It is our struggle against death that renders us invulnerable to life, and love. Death is not the enemy. Death teaches us the art of surrender, which is the essential energy that opens us to receive the abundance awaiting our opening. Death is our teacher, our advisor, our friend.


But we treat death as the enemy. I love the story that Bagwan Shree Rajneesh shared in his book,  ”The Art of Dying; “When Rabbi Birnham lay dying, his wire burst into tears.  He said, “What are you crying? My whole life was only that I might learn to die.”

Describing death as a friendly force goes against the grain of our cultural conditioning. We have been taught to see death as what we fight against, run from,  win over, or somehow prevent, or at least forestall, even when doing so prolongs suffering. We think of death as the opposite of life and therefore it is seen as bad or wrong; as something unnatural, ugly, but most of all, terrifying. Some “new age” thinkers even promote the idea that death is some kind of personal failure, especially if it occurs through accident or terminal illness. For these thinkers, to get sick, or die suddenly indicates that you are guilty of self hatred or low evolutionary consciousness. Death is thought of as a punishment or a crime, something to be railed against and fought tooth and nail.

We constrict around death because we have no control over it. It is that inevitable and scary entrance into the great unknown which we both dread and fear. Unconscious fear of death is behind every neurosis, every demand or attachment that we have. Whether it’s the fear of abandonment, rejection or danger of any kind; all can be traced back to the root fear of all; death. It rules us, though most of us don’t even know it. For the first half of life, we as humans tend to live as if death is something that only happens “out there”; to other people, but “not me”. As young people, we believe in our own personal immortality, often taking foolish risks that push the limits. We “live on the edge” and treat our bodies as indestructible forces that will last forever. Then somewhere around mid-life, it changes. All of a sudden we are conscious of time “running out”. Our bodies begin to show signs of wear, and fear takes over. From that point forward, we are in a race against the undefeatable opponent, death. We know who will win in the end, but we still secretly hope that somehow we will manage to get out of here alive; that “we shall overcome”.

Many turn to religious promises of “eternal life”, for consolation, which for some means that the body will live on, or at least be returned to them after Judgment Day. In this way, religion becomes an antidote or prescription for death; the only “cure” for the otherwise inescapable. Here we begin to see the big part that the fear of death plays in religion. Too often, rather than emphasizing right relationship with our Creator, religious doctrines instead play on people’s fear of death and then promise their doctrine as being the only guarantee against it. This is what sells. If you believe and do what the church prescribes, then you will have eternal life in heaven, versus eternal death and damnation. Raised with such ideas, we learn to connect death with the devil. No wonder we are so terrified! We are indoctrinated to think of death as the domain of all that is evil and against life

As a result, mass consciousness is not as interested in authentic and harmonious relationship with their Creator, as they are with trying to buy a favorable bargain against the Grim Reaper. I wonder how many of the religiously pious are so because they are afraid of eternal damnation rather than from a true love of God. Rather than serving out of an intense inner desire or longing to know God, these “good Christians” are motivated instead by guilt and fear. It doesn’t take a genius to see that the fear of death can be a powerful motivator, used for centuries by the church to swell their ranks. The use of such fear, as a way to enforce the church’s moral code and bring people under subjugation is an age-old ploy.

There are cultures, however that teach a different approach to death. They see death as being a natural part of the life cycle, as is birth. They understand that something always has to die before there can be a birth of any kind. Birth and death are recognized as intricate aspects of life. Without death there cannot be life. There has to be some kind of relinquishment, or clearing away, before any new thing can come into being. Something has to be surrendered. Surrender is synonymous with dying.

Death and birth are so closely linked that dying is even an intrinsic part of the biological birth process. Consciousness research initiated by scientists such as Stanislav Grof,(“Adventures of Self-Discovery”) have found that the fetus actually goes through a death phase when being born. Grof has determined four stages, or matrices, of the birth process. The second birth matrix occurs when the contractions of the mother are forcefully closing down on the fetus, but the cervix has not yet dilated enough to allow escape. In those moments, sometimes hours, the fetus faces its’ own demise. There is no way out. It is being hammered with relentless fury by the very same walls which, up to then, had provided a safe-haven. From that universal experience, we all have encoded death as a force to be reckoned with over and over again. Even those who were deli6ered C-section, thus avoiding the struggle through the birth canal, have been found to carry the genetic code for all four stages. The death/birth cycle is part of our very DNA! Rather than overcome death, our challenge becomes to learn how to surrender with grace. Warriors of the Yaqui Tribe in Mexico, as described by Carlos Casteneda in his writings, develop an intimate relationship with death.

A Yaqui warrior learns to enter fully into life by staying ever alert to the possibility of his own demise. Not with morbid preoccupation, or with constant backward glances caused by anxiety-induced hyper-vigilance, but instead with a steadiness of purpose that comes from living every moment as if it were his last. Here there is a resolve; a calm acceptance that comes from having learned to view Death as a friend or advisor, as an “ally”. In this way ones every action is performed with what Don Juan(the old Sorcerer from Casteneda’s books) calls “impeccability”. From the understanding that life offers no guarantees; that this could well be one’s final moment, every act becomes infused with consciousness. If we were to allow ourselves the awareness, as Don Juan said, that death stands, ever present and ready to claim us, there would be little, if any, thoughtless words, or action. What an awesome way to live! Can you imagine how much less regret there might be if we all gave this kind of attention to our lives?

Socrates was known to remind those around him that one should always be “occupied in the practice of dying”. There is no way to fully live until we know how to die. This is true because death is about release. Life is made up of a series of contractions and expansions; of holding on and letting go. Our very breath demonstrates the birth/death cycle. Each in-breath is a “fill-up” and every out-breath an “emptying” of “prana” (spirit or life).

We fight death because we are afraid. We want things to stay the same so that we can feel safe and secure. But that goes against the very nature of being. Things that are alive move and change, die to the old and become something new repetitively. When something stops changing, it stagnates and inevitably dies. Change is the death/birth process.

I recently had a dream that illustrates this resistance/surrender paradox. In it I seemed to be standing in a pool of water watching a hand gently shove an infant under water and hold it there. At first, in the dream, I was distraught because I thought the child was being drowned, but then I noticed that the infant’s expression was one of relaxed contentment. There was no sign of struggle on its’ face. The hand would hold the child under and then release it at that critical moment when breath was needed. Later, I realized that the child in me was being encouraged to trust and surrender (die) to the “hand” (of God).

Whenever we resist, we are simply refusing to die into our next re-birth. Our challenge is to learn how to give up the struggle for control, to stop thrashing around in an effort to hold on, and instead surrender into the paradoxical death of birthing with grace. In this way, we learn to exhale life as fully as we inhale it. We learn to go with the grasp/release flow of life rather than “hold our breath” by hanging onto circumstances, or relationships that may need to be surrendered. We come to understand that being fully alive involves perpetual movement and change, which means the willingness to die to that which no longer serves us.

There will come a time when even our physical shell, to which we are so attached, must be relinquished. The mystics remind us that it is possible to drop the body like an old shoe. Then, at the designated time, we welcome death as the Great Liberator, rather than seeing it as the enemy. Death, then becomes an eagerly awaited friend, who comes to alleviate us from our earthly trials and burdens. Stephen Levine, author of “A Year To Live”, reminds us that no-one, in their right mind, would really want to give up death as an option. It is our “ticket” out when life has become too limiting, too filled with suffering. Then death becomes the much anticipated “relief bringer”.

I have a fantasy, strengthened by the practice of many necessary surrenders, that our final moments of life might actually be very like orgasm. Sexual release may be the closest we get to an experience of actual physical death. Like death, orgasm requires a full surrender into the moment if we are to have the experience of liberation it offers. It’s a feeling of delicious freedom for which we all long. This, I imagine, is what death must feel like; a free-at-last kind of ecstasy from all the constraints and bondages that go along with being trapped in a human body.

Even as I write this article, believing in the words said here with full force, I find myself up against the challenge of yet another series of necessary “let go’s” in my life. I notice my resistance, as I hold on tenaciously to what’s known and familiar, not wanting to “die” to it, even though I know it’s time. The human tendency to struggle against death is a natural one, even when we acknowledge it as a necessary and useful part of life. Perhaps the best we can do is remind ourselves of the ebb and flow of life so that we can perhaps release a little sooner, with a bit more grace than we might otherwise have done.

Death is a powerful force. It can be forestalled perhaps, but it cannot be overcome. It is not the enemy. Death is a teacher and a way-maker. It teaches surrender and prepares the way for what‘s to come. By practicing the acceptance of death as a natural part of life, we gain liberation and re-birth. It can teach us how to “be here now”, in this moment, “one day at a time”. As a result, our lives will become more full, abundant and productive. Yes, contradictory as it may seem, death can actually become for us a very good and true ally.

How do we surrender? By saying good-bye and grieving our losses. Grief is the energy of let go. One of the ways we refuse to face death in our everyday lives is through avoiding closure of any kind. It is a common practice to leave relationships, jobs or towns where we have lived without closure. We simply move on to what’s next without acknowledging that we’re leaving something behind. This is a life-sapping practice, especially when we do it with a relationship that has ended painfully. Even though we (or they) may walk away, some part of us remains plugged in to what was left behind. We have not really let it go. Although we may push it to the back of our minds, we continue to carry it around with us, where it stays in the back of our minds in a putrefied state.

A client Josh, exclaimed to his support group; “I’m lousy at saying good-bye to anything! I leave friends and situations behind, often without ever mentioning that I’m leaving, simply because I hate farewells. Then I feel forever guilty about it, which keeps me from re-connecting with old friends or being able to go back to visit places from my past. If I happen to run into someone from back then, I’ll even try to avoid their seeing me, because I’m so sure they have hard feelings about the way I left!” Josh soon learned he was not the only one who dealt with goodbyes in that way. Most everyone in the group was able to relate a similar tendency. “I wonder, I mused to the group, “if the reason we have such difficulty with good-byes is because they are a form of death, which is seen as bad or unacceptable in our world. Therefore we refuse to properly bury that which needs to be relinquished and instead, latch on quickly to the next thing that comes along.”

This sets us up to walk around burdened down with useless, excess baggage, hanging heavy, like the proverbial albatross around ones neck. Like the parents of the child whose puppy dies, and who then quickly get her a new one so she won’t suffer the loss, we too move rapidly away from the carnage of our past. However this doesn’t work quite as well as we like to think. We may find ourselves involved in a new relationship to replace the last one, only to find that we end up projecting our unresolved “stuff” onto the new partner or situation. For without giving ourselves a “season of grief” for that which has passed, we cannot truly invest in what’s to come.

Don’s wife of twenty-two years, left him, taking with her their children and most of their material and financial assets through a vindictive and messy divorce. He was left feeling bitter, betrayed and distrustful. When I met him, some two years after their break-up, he could not talk about a subject, no matter it’s content, without steering the conversation back to the anger and betrayal he felt. He would rail on about his ex, and women in general. Even though he had recently met a good woman who obviously cared for him and to whom he was much attracted, he found himself constantly reacting towards her as if she were his ex. He would interpret things his new partner said and did with suspicion. Of course, his tendency to put his ex-wife’s face on his present partner led to feelings of hurt and anger on her part. She would react with indignity and insult, which only served to validate Don’s feeling that no woman could be trusted. He was fast recreating his previous relationship misery simply because he had not let go. He was still carrying the baggage of his past to the point that it was destroying any new possibility. Don’s challenge was to allow to surface the feelings of hurt and loss that he had buried under his perpetual rage towards his ex. His unacknowledged grief was like a poison contaminating any opportunity for positive relationship.

Don’s situation is more common than we might think. Many of us are at this very moment carrying around unacknowledged remnants of loss that deplete our vital life force, causing depression, lack of motivation, and heaviness. It is as though we are carrying a corpse through life, which indeed we are. Though not literally, we, nonetheless carry the unburied contents of all our failed, or refused good-byes.

Karen complained of a malaise that assailed her days, making it difficult to even get out of bed most mornings. She cried easily, and blamed herself continuously for what she saw as being a failure at life. Her father had died when she was nineteen, some six years previously. Towards the end of his illness, he had encouraged her, as his oldest daughter, to “stay strong for your mother and younger sisters”. Karen had interpreted this as a prohibition to grieve. She obeyed her fathers dying request, maintaining an upbeat facade for the sake of her grieving family. The price she paid was tremendous. Although it wasn’t until she sought counseling that she realized the cost to her, not only of refusing her need to grieve the loss of her father, but of the many other unresolved burdens she carried.

It came to light, through her sessions, that she had never been one to let go of things. “I have a rented storage shed full of memorabilia from people and places in my life that I am afraid to let go of”, she confided. She realized, through personal exploration, that one of the reasons she held onto literal “scraps of paper, movie stubs, and gas receipts” was because they served as reminders to herself of who she was. “If I throw these things away, I won’t have verification of where I’ve been. No-one will know who I am!” She could not release her past, as unhappy as it may have been, because it established her identity. Without that she might not exist. Yet the need to drag it around with her was depleting her life force, leaving her numb, depressed and without the motivation needed to create a positive future.

Gil shared a story from his childhood about the loss of his family’s crystal wine glasses. At age seven, he related, he was already very aware of classmates of “higher standing”. Their family’s ran the mill where Gil’s father was employed, and he wanted nothing more than to fit in. His family owned a set of crystal goblets which his mother kept in a special cabinet. In his mind, they were the one thing that lifted his family to the status of his more affluent peers, showing that his family, too had class. And so, it devastated Gil when his little sister accidentally overturned the cabinet upon herself, breaking the goblets to smithereens. It wasn’t his sister’s well-being he was concerned about, but the loss of his own identity which got smashed along with the goblets on that never-to-be-forgotten day. Many times we entangle our sense of worth and identity with our possessions, little realizing the cost. Often it is only in letting go of those very things that we are able to find liberation. Sometimes, when we don’t let go willingly, the Universe will step in and take it away from us.

We rationalize and justify why we should stay, when, in fact, it may have been time to let-go long ago. “I need to work it through”, we tell ourselves, or; “I may need it again someday”. We want to pass it on to our children or have something to show for the struggles we’ve endured, we say. Not that these arguments for staying are without merit. Sometimes it’s not right action to let go. We can suffer as much from the opposite tendency; of prematurely letting-go, as well as hang on too long. It’s a matter of balance… that of determining when it is time to hold on versus time to let go. And we must weigh our rationale for holding on against the cost of doing so. If hanging on is keeping me from saying good-bye to something that is long dead, then it may not be worth it, whether that be a relationship or extraneous paraphernalia.

In my youth, I had a six month encounter with a man who called himself a medicine man. I was young and gullible and he was magnetic and powerful. I was irresistibly attracted to his way of life so I became his “apprentice”. He taught a lot about the danger of attachment, not only to things but to our personal history; our identity, as well as to others, family included. His words made sense to me. I was living in a small apartment in Northern California at the time, and, under his tutelage, I went through a ritual of putting all of my personal belongings on the curb for any who might find and want them. I gave away all but the bare essentials for living. I then destroyed personal memorabilia, like my pictures and papers, anything that connected me to a past, including social security papers, my birth certificate, etc. I took on a new name given to me by him, and practiced the art of speaking only of the present, carefully refusing to speak of who or where I had been before. In other words, I took myself through a voluntary surrender of worldly attachments.

I began to travel, hitching a ride from town to town, totally dependent upon the “gifts of Spirit” that were offered along the way. And they were plentiful. Inevitably what I needed was provided, whether it was a meal, a place to sleep, to bathe or simply rest. The lessons I received were many, but specifically I learned the value of release. While it’s certainly not something I recommend doing today, I do not regret the opportunity it gave me to experience life without attachment. In the words of Janis Joplin; “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”. It is indeed so, for once you have known the liberty that surrender grants, clinging to anything loses it’s appeal.

Learning to relinquish with grace, when necessary, is important if we are to have fulfilled lives. We cannot fully experience this vital moment, if we are bogged down with the trappings from our past. Dying is an art we must practice if we are to live well. We learn to see it as liberating, as well as necessary. We must train our attitude to recognize death, not as the end, but always as the preparation for what’s to come. The Bhagwan Rajneesh said,

“You cannot live if you stop dying…. Life exists because of death … it is in fact a process of renewal. We think that life is good and death is bad. We think that life has to be desired and death is to be avoided. We think that somehow we have to protect ourselves against death. This absurd idea creates endless miseries in our lives, because a person who protects himself against death becomes incapable of living. He is the person who is afraid of exhaling, then he cannot inhale and he is stuck. The he simply drags, his life is no longer a flow, his life is no longer a river.” (“The Art of Dying”; pg 5; Bhagwan Rajneesh)

This sums it up. With awareness, such as this foremost in our hearts and minds, death can bring eager anticipation for the new, that which is yet unborn in us.

Whenever we feel stuck, complaining that we feel bogged down, unable to move forward, then it is time to ask; “What haven‘t I surrendered?” “What needs closure or relinquishment?” Practice building a relationship with death as advisor by imagining yourself in your final hours of life. Lying on your death bed, in your mind’s eye, allow yourself to reflect on your personal affairs and ask yourself questions, such as; “What are my regrets?” “What would I do differently?” “What important relationships are troubled or unresolved?” “What is my unfinished business?” “What can I do about this right now?” These questions can help us identify areas of our life that need immediate attention and clearing.

Through practices such as these, we learn to recognize the continual life process; that of dying to each past moment so as to be born again and again into the future. We started out with a quote about the Rabbi who had lived only so that he might know how to die. Perhaps it is equally as important that we each learn how to die in order to live. May it be so.

--

Lynne Forrest is a non-traditional practitioner who has been in private practice for twenty six years, and the author of a new book, Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness. Find her on the web at www.lynneforrest.com or www.lynneforrest.com/blog. These articles are copyrighted material. All rights are reserved. No part of these articles may be reproduced by any means or in any form whatsoever without first obtaining the written permission of the author. Permission for reproduction may be requested by contacting Lynne at Another Way Center: (423) 698-0814.Read the original post here: http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2011/06/dying-to-live.

Abandoning Abandonment, by Toni Petrinovich.

Every human being experiences the sense of loss called abandonment. Where does it come from? Do you want to do something about it? Claim yourself as the divine being you ARE?

--

Toni Elizabeth Sar’h Petrinovich is a Master Teacher, mystic and quantum physical researcher with a ministerial doctorate in metaphysics.  She is the author of The Call – Awakening the Angelic Human, and its accompanying CD, DNA Re-Awakening,  You – A Field Guide, Finding an End to Seeking, DeLight of the Orbs and Speaking of Light. Toni teaches metaphysics and the sacred connection within through her Meta yoU classes, guided meditation CDs, DVD production and video presentations.  www.youaresacred.com

The Violet Flame: The Alchemist's Dream, by Chris Donaldson.

For centuries, alchemists have sought to change base metals into gold. But the transmutation of metals like lead into gold is symbolic of a higher and more noble alchemy -- the alchemy of self-transformation.

Self-transformation was the goal of the most spiritual of alchemists. They sought a way to change the lead of negative human energy into the gold of divine energy, and some of them achieved this by using the violet flame. But first, let's explore what the violet flame is, what it does and how it works. 

The violet flame (also called the violet fire) is a unique spiritual energy that can help you in all areas of your life. It can heal emotional and physical problems, improve your relationships, help you to grow spiritually, or just make life easier. 

The flame is the essence of a unique spiritual light. Mystics of all ages have glimpsed a "spiritual spectrum" behind the physical spectrum. Radiant colors, more pure and rare than those found on earth, emanate from a brilliant, "inner" divine light. Just as a ray of sunlight passing through a prism refracts into seven colors, spiritual light splits into seven colors, or "rays" - each of which has specific divine qualities. The violet flame comes forth from the violet ray, which has the qualities of mercy, forgiveness, freedom and transmutation. 

The color violet has long been associated with spirituality. Having the highest frequency in the visible spectrum, violet is at the point of transition to the next octave of light. To the ancients, this transcendental color was a spiritual rather than a physical phenomenon. 

Saints and adepts throughout the ages have known how to use the violet flame, but it was only released to the public earlier this century by an Ascended Master called Saint Germain. Ascended Masters are enlightened spiritual beings who once walked the earth like you and me. They balanced their karma (paid their debts to life) and fulfilled their reason for being. They then ascended, or reunited with God. You probably already know the names of a few Ascended Masters - Jesus Christ, Gautama Buddha and Krishna.

What the Violet Flame Does

Ever wish there was a way you could wipe out your past mistakes? 

While you can't go back in time, the violet flame has the power to erase, or transmute the cause, the effect, and even the memory of our past mistakes. Transmutation means to change - to alter in form, appearance or nature. The violet flame changes negative energy into positive energy, darkness into light, "fate" into opportunity. The flame also erases the resultant "bad karma" of our mistakes. 

Our past actions - both good and bad - do come back to us. This is the law of karma. This impersonal cosmic law decrees that whatever we do comes full circle to our doorstep for resolution; simply, what goes around comes around. 

In general, most people must pay their debt to life, or "balance" their karma, by selflessly reaching out and helping others, by working through misfortunes that come their way, or by passing through diseases or other forms of personal suffering. But it need not be so with the violet flame! The violet flame is able to transmute or mitigate our negative karma before it comes back to us. 

On the physical level, the violet flame can help heal our bodies by removing the karma that makes us vulnerable to illness and disease. But the real cause of disease is often rooted in our mental, emotional and spiritual states. 

Today, we are discovering more and more about how our thoughts and emotions can affect our health. Research has shown that hatred and other negative thoughts and feelings actually create excess amounts of acid in the body that it cannot assimilate. These negative thoughts and feelings often originate in emotional and psychological problems, which the violet flame can help to resolve. The scars of old hurts and painful memories may be healed and dissolved when the healing balm of the violet flame is applied.

How the Violet Flame Works

The violet flame works by changing "vibrations". In physics, vibration is the speed of oscillation - the speed at which something moves back and forth. On the atomic level, vibration can be understood to be the speed at which electrons orbit around the nucleus of the atom. The violet flame works by changing vibrations on this level. 

Atoms are mostly empty space. The empty space between the nucleus and the electrons is where negative energy and karma can become stuck. When the atoms in our bodies and auras become clogged with this negativity, the electrons whirl slower and slower, and we begin to resonate more with negativity, and less with light - we have a lower vibration, and become less spiritual. 

The violet flame transmutes this negative energy. It does not simply surround and remove the energy, but transforms it into light. Because there is less density within the atom, the electrons whirl faster and faster, thereby raising your vibration. 

When you have a higher vibration, there is more spiritual energy in your body. Acupuncturists and yogis know that optimum health comes when this spiritual energy flows freely throughout the body. The violet flame frees up this energy and re-establishes harmony and equilibrium, propelling you into a more spiritual state of being.

The Alchemist's Dream

The violet flame is a tool of self-transformation. Physical experiments in alchemy whereby base metals are transformed into gold are symbolic of what the violet flame does. 

In medieval times, alchemists attempted to transmute base metals into gold, using heat to separate the "subtle" from the "gross". While there have always been alchemists who sought to create wealth by transmuting base metals, this process of transmutation is symbolic of a higher and more noble alchemy - the alchemy of self-transformation. 

Alchemists of the Spirit did not seek physical wealth, but spiritual wealth. They sought to transform themselves into more spiritual beings, by becoming more loving, wise and compassionate. The violet flame has the capacity to bring about this transformation by transmuting negative elements within ourselves. It has the unique ability to transform fear into courage, anxiety into peace and hatred into love. 

Alchemists of all ages have sought the mystical philosophers' stone. Early alchemists pored over minutely ciphered texts in search of this stone. For them, it was worth a lifetime to decode the mystery of this "stone" which symbolized the transmutation of the lower animal nature into the highest and divine. The coveted philosophers' stone - "the stone which is no stone" - was not physical, but spiritual, and created out of fire. 

Some alchemists did discover the secret of the violet flame. According to Neoplatonist alchemists, the philosophers' stone was a self-transforming fire that would lead their souls upward, by drawing up to the Spirit all qualities which dragged downward and opposed the spiritual essences. In the process, the "hard and refractory materials" in their bodies would be transmuted into a rare and more luminous material. In this sacred experiment, they said the alchemist would become "like the gods", pursuing "the gold of the wise and not the vulgar metal". 

Transmutation, then, was not just a process which turned base metals into gold, but a spiritual process which raised the soul into a state of unity with the Divine.

How to Use the Violet Flame

The violet flame is practical and easy to use. 

Find a place where you won't be disturbed, and sit comfortably in a straight chair with your spine and head erect, legs and arms uncrossed and feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands on your upper legs, with palms facing upwards. 

The violet flame is invoked through "decreeing" - a unique form of spoken prayer utilizing visualization and meditation. One of the simplest decrees to the violet flame is: "I AM a being of violet fire! I AM the purity God desires!" Take a few, slow deep breaths and center in your heart. Start out slowly, giving the decree with love, devotion and feeling. Repeat the decree three or nine times to begin with; you can gradually increase this to 36, 72 or even 144 repetitions. Repeating the decree strengthens its power and draws down more light. 

Once you are familiar with the decree, you can close your eyes while giving it and concentrate on visualizing the violet flame. See yourself before a large bonfire, about nine feet high and six feet wide. Color it violet in your imagination, and see the flames pulsating and undulating in endless shades of violet with gradations of purple and pink. Then see yourself stepping into the flame, so the violet flame is where you physically are. See your body as transparent, with the flames curling up from beneath your feet, passing through and around your body, clear up over your head.

Often the words of a violet flame decree invoke ideas for other violet flame visualizations - decreeing is meant to be fun so be creative and use your imagination!

To those who have developed their spiritual sight, the violet flame appears as a physical violet fire. You may also be able to "see" the violet flame at work with your inner eye, by concentrating on the spiritual center between your eyebrows. 

You can also use the violet flame to help family and friends. Just visualize the violet flame around them while you give the decree, and add a prayer before you start. The violet flame can also help others that you might not be aware of. After you have finished decreeing, you can ask: "In the name of the Christ within me, I ask that this violet flame be multiplied and used to assist all souls on this planet who are in need. I thank you and accept it done according to the will of God." 

Even a few minutes of violet flame will produce results, but persistence is needed to penetrate age-old habits you would like to change. You can start out with just a few minutes of violet flame in the morning to help you through the day, and you can add the violet flame to whatever prayers or meditations you currently practice.

What Do Others Think of the Violet Flame?

Here's what people who have used the violet flame say: 

"Well, I think a lot clearer. I feel lighter. I'm a lot more sensitive to vibrations. And I feel the movement of light almost physically rather than just at subtle levels." 

"My relations with people are lighter and more smooth. I don't have that sense of friction." 

"At one time I was heavy on drugs and I knew I'd gone too far. The violet flame has cleared up my memory so that now I can think clearly and creatively." 

"It gives me emotional control and the ability to be more sensitive to the thoughts of God."

"The violet flame is amazing. It's opened up so many creative areas of my life. It's a science and a great gift from God. It has revolutionized my life in so many ways. It has allowed me to realize the real potential of my soul, by bringing me closer to God and my personal mission. On more than one occasion the violet flame has healed me of illnesses that have afflicted my body, especially chronic back problems."

"As a surgeon for 10 years, I am humbled by learning about this science. Practicing this has brought amazing results in my life and my medical practice." 

You can use the violet flame and experience the healing, transformation and spiritual upliftment that alchemists of the Spirit have sought for centuries. But if you want the violet flame to help you, you have to work with it. Try it for yourself!

Decrees to the violet flame

I AM the violet flame 

I AM the violet flame 

In action in me now 

I AM the violet flame 

To Light alone I bow 

I AM the violet flame 

In mighty cosmic power 

I AM the light of God 

Shining every hour 

I AM the violet flame 

Blazing like a sun 

I AM God's sacred power 

Freeing every one

© The Summit Lighthouse

Violet flame decree for forgiveness 

I AM Forgiveness acting here, 

Casting out all doubt and fear, 

Setting men forever free 

With wings of cosmic Victory. 

I AM calling in full power 

For Forgiveness every hour; 

To all life in every place 

I flood forth forgiving Grace. 

© The Summit Lighthouse

Radiant spiral violet flame

Radiant spiral violet flame,

Descend, now blaze through me

Radiant spiral violet flame,

Set free, set free, set free

Radiant violet flame, O come,

Expand and blaze thy light through me

Radiant violet flame, O come,

Reveal God's power for all to see

Radiant violet flame, O come,

Awake the earth and set it free

Radiance of the violet flame,

Expand and blaze through me

Radiance of the violet flame,

Expand for all to see

Radiance of the violet flame,

Establish Mercy's outpost here

Radiance of the violet flame,

Come, transmute now all fear

© The Summit Lighthouse

Violet Flame Is 

Breath of God inside each cell 

I AM the violet flame 

Pulsing out the cosmic time 

I AM the violet flame 

Energizing mind and heart 

I AM the violet flame 

Sustaining God's creation now 

I AM the violet flame 

With all love, With all love, With all love 

Shimmering in a crystal cave 

I AM the violet flame 

Searching out all hidden pain 

I AM the violet flame 

Consuming cause and core of fear 

I AM the violet flame 

Revealing now the inner name 

I AM the violet flame 

With all peace, With all peace, With all peace 

Flashing like a lightning bolt 

I AM the violet flame 

Stretching through the galaxies 

I AM the violet flame 

Connecting soul and Spirit now 

I AM the violet flame 

Raising you to cosmic heights 

I AM the violet flame 

With all power, With all power, With all power

© The Temple of the Presence

Violet flame decree for healing the Earth

O violet flame, come, violet flame

Now blaze and blaze and blaze

O violet flame, come, violet flame

To raise and raise and raise

The earth and all thereon

The earth and all thereon

The earth and all thereon

O violet flame, come, violet flame

Now blaze and blaze and blaze

O violet flame, come, violet flame

To raise and raise and raise

The plants and all God's creatures

The plants and all God's creatures

The plants and all God's creatures

O violet flame, come, violet flame

Now blaze and blaze and blaze

O violet flame, come, violet flame

To raise and raise and raise

The air, the sea, the land

The air, the sea, the land

The air, the sea, the land

© The Summit Lighthouse

Let Freedom Roll 

Holy Christ/Buddha Self in me,

Hear me now, I do decree.

Let violet fire of freedom roll

’Round the world to make all whole.

Saturate the air, the sea, the land

At Saint Germain’s divine command.

Let wisdom reign, God-power grow,

Let love prevail and mercy flow.

Let war now cease and evil bind,

Reveal the truth to all mankind.

Compel all leaders to be just,

For liberty is now a must.

Defuse all plots, expose all lies,

Let Portia rule and justice rise.

Now Zadkiel and Amethyst,

Consume all darkness, East and West.

May anarchy and terror fail,

God-government and hope prevail.

O violet fire of Omri-Tas,

Now blaze with blest Oromasis.

O masters, angels, now appear,

We see perfection everywhere.

We pray with you, both near and far,

’Til earth becomes the Freedom Star.

© The Hearts Center
---
To read the original post, click here: http://thevioletflame.tripod.com/

Develop a gratitude practice to open your heart and rewire your brain, by Melanie Greenberg.

Gratitude is an integral part of a spiritual practice

"For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Experiencing and expressing gratitude is an important part of any spiritual practice.  It opens the heart and activates positive emotion centers in the brain.  Regular practice of gratitude can change the way our brain neurons fire into more positive automatic patterns. The positive emotions we evoke can soothe distress and broaden our thinking patterns so we develop a larger and more expansive view of our lives.  Gratitude is an emotion of connectedness, which reminds us we are part of a larger universe with all living things. Below are some of my favorite quotes about gratitude to help inspire you and deepen your thinking about finding an enduring place for gratitude in your own life.

The Seven Best Gratitude Quotes

1.             "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust.

2.            "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder

3.            As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy 

4.            At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. Albert Schweitzer 

5.            The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.
-- WIlliam James

6.            "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-- Oprah Winfrey

7.            He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." – Epictetus

How to Bring Gratitude into Your Life

To begin bringing gratitude into your life, you can deliberately meditate on all the things in your own life that help you or give you pleasure.  You can also write a gratitude diary, posting pictures and writing about the things you feel grateful for each day. The holidays are a great time to express your gratitude to friends and family by writing cards and exchanging thoughtful, personal gifts. Baking cookies for neighbors or sharing food with the poor are other ways to express appreciation for the abundance of food that we have in this country. Gratitude can lead to feelings of love, appreciation, generosity, and compassion, which further open our hearts and help rewire our brains to fire in more positive ways.

--
Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, life coach, and expert on mind-body health and wellness, behavioral and integrative medicine who has published research in many of the top academic journals in her field. Previously a Professor, she is now a practicing clinical psychologist, national speaker, author, and media consultant Melanie served on the editorial boards of the academic journals Health Psychology and Annals of Behavioral Medicine and as Co-Chair of the Complementary and Integrative Medicine Special Interest Group for the Society of Behavioral Medicine. Melanie is frequently quoted in national media, including Men’s Health, Arthritis Today, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today. Match.com, and cnn.com. Find out about her therapy services: http://melaniegreenbergphd.com/marin-psychologist and read her blog : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express.

The frequency is rising, is there a point to being this uncomfortable? by Linda West.

Here we are with another year almost done.  I just want to say ‘wow’, that’s it, just ‘wow’….I have been watching the changes going on in our world and I am even more convinced that the Spiritual frequency is certainly rising.  As I have stated before the Angels told me that the years between 2008 and 2012 would be ‘interesting’, ‘wow’ to say the least. When I was told that, the details were sketchy, because the Feminine Creative Energy was rising on this planet and more and more people, male and female alike were embracing it at a higher rate than ‘we’ had expected.  Way to go, humans opening up to more love.  So if this is true, why is there so much chaos and uncertainty? Very good question……..

I was a teenager in the late 60′s, like so many of you, us “Babyboomers”….that was a time like no other….the war, the protests, the establishments, the murders of so many leaders.  They were murdered because they carried a vision of the higher energy and what could be.  Did their energy came to the Earth too soon? So many did not want the energy that these souls carried to happen, it meant change!  No death happens without making an impact somewhere and certainly the death of those leaders still have impact today, including some 54,000 plus who died in Vietnam…..I was in the 3rd grade when the announcement that President Kennedy was shot came over the loud speaker, I went home from school and my mother was crying …….and so it went.  There were people fighting to keep Black people from being able to ride in the front seat of a bus, seriously? They fought to keep them from integrating in the schools, What the ***?.  We as a people with the leadership of Lyndon Johnson upheld with a great battle civil rights, Public Broadcasting, Medicare, Medicaid, environmental protection, aid to education, and  “War on Poverty.”  This was the sixties, many amazing accomplishments while the battle to keep so many of these things from happening raged on with tremendous struggle while the ‘Babyboomers” protested the war, inequality and marched for more freedom.

This was the ‘Age of Aquarius’ aptly put in the song of the same name by the 5th Dimension…..

(When the moon is in the Seventh House, )

(And Jupiter aligns with Mars,)

(Then peace will guide the planets,)

(And love will steer the stars,)

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

Age of Aquarius. Aquarius! Aquarius!

Harmony and understanding,

Sympathy and trust abounding.

(No more falsehoods or derisions.)

(Golden living dreams of visions,)

((Mystic crystal revelation,))

(And the mind’s true liberation.)

Aquarius! Aquarius!

All that coming together in the 60′s, that went well, kinda, sorta!!  Believe it or not this was the first wave of major changes that needed to happen on Earth.  You see humans had the “BOMB”, with a few egotistical decisions the planet could be destroyed crushed and sent out of orbit in pieces, okay, yes, worst case scenario,  but could we actually take that chance with humans?……….so ‘They’ came, leaders of unique heartfelt quality and wisdom, any doubts, remember the ‘Cuban Missile Crisis’, whew, that was close…..and lets not forget the drills in school to hide under your desk in case of nuclear attack, yeah, that sure made us feel better!!!

Okay that was than and this is now …….the higher frequency came in the 60′s and now, yep, you got it, here we go again!  Before the crash in 2008, we were living in a false economy, spurred on by greed and lies, while we became complacent on what was happening around us.  We allowed ‘leaders’ (I use that term loosely) to steal our elections, start wars that should have never happened, should I go on? Well, you get the picture……what happened to our Spiritual Connection? For so many it was consumed by stuff, the false economy and the need for more physical stimulation….yes, we became complacent!

The rising of the Feminine Creative Energy gave way to a frequency that compelled those who embraced it to love more, see beyond the physical and realize their connection in a most powerful way, their connection to the Source energy.  Sooooo, the illusion that was created had to crash, and it did in the fall of 2008.  The money bubble burst and many all over the world fell in frequency as they realized their illusion  could no longer hold water or air or physical reality.  Survival took our Energy to “First Chakra” issues, money, our physical world connection, gone……now what?  2009 turned into a void as many tried to find their footing in this new reality.  By 2010 many moved into “2nd Chakra” , learning a new way to live, creativity, how to survive with this new reality of less instead of more….many found their spiritual connection growing, as the old reality passed away with much physical property loss and the new understanding of what ‘creating your own reality’ really meant…….

This shake-up from the Recession,  with many corporations taking advantage of the situations created by this ‘crash’, they have suffered no pain in this time of change, they have made money and want to make more off the backs of the elderly, sick, impoverished, the least among us…the interesting thing is the least among us has increased in this changing frequency.  Now like the sixties, people are waking up, they are ‘occupying’ protesting as they move into “3rd Chakra” energy, the third chakra is the center of self esteem……people are screaming ‘I deserve more’, and they are angry….This is great! The center of self-esteem if working properly does not allow itself to get stomped on or taken advantage of…good job humans you are moving up in frequency, much to my and others relief.

Now what?  2012 will lead us to more changes in frequency, these energy changes have a major affect on each of us emotionally, physically and of course spiritually. You will see more protests and more voices speaking out…and of course those who have ‘worldly power and money’ will be fighting twice as hard to keep their control over you,  your power and your money.  But you see their worldly power causes them great fear because unlike spiritual power which comes from Source, God/dess, their power can be taken away and they know it by us rising up protesting, occupying!!…while the spiritual power is always meeting our needs, wants and desires and cannot be taken away.

My next Blog will give you specifics on how to function in this higher energy and look for my predictions blog coming up..we’ll all see how ‘predictions ‘ pan out.  Check out my event schedule for a town near you to get this info in person and please check out my YouTube video 2012, part one & two….ladies you’ll appreciate it, it was a good hair day! http://www.youtube.com/user/Lindawestmedium?feature=mhee#p/u/1/tkKYtIInviE

In the meantime….

Welcome to Earth, Spiritual being!!!!

--

Linda holds a Masters Degree in Metaphysics and is a certified Angel Reader by Dr. Doreen Virtue. Linda is the author of the acclaimed book, 8 Keys: A Special Delivery Message from the Angels and is the Radio Show Host of Empowered Life with Linda West, Thursdays, 11am PST on BlogTalk Radio.

Meditation: Truth On All Four Bodies, by Kahu Fred Sterling.

One of the most proficient ways to focus our minds on this third-dimensional journey of healing is through the art of meditation. To meditate on anything requires tapping into your super consciousness and attaining complete and utmost clarity.  Anything less will get you somewhere short of the truth you seek.

Your meditation must be supremely genuine, practiced with positivity, and never questioned on any level.  In order to accomplish such unquestioning faith in your meditation, you must know and understand truth in all four bodies.  If you have any hope of attaining the highest possibility in a meditation, you must know what truth feels like at that level.  It is a feeling unmatched by any other human feeling. 

Knowing truth on all levels during a meditation will enable you to receive information at the highest level of understanding, a level that brings the clarity that nothing is beyond your reach.  From that space, you will strive to make clarity and communication your only reality. 

Practice this form of meditation.  Your commitment to this ancient art is the most consistent way of recognizing that you are a product of the only perfect "form" of light, and that you are always on a journey of love.  

©Fred Sterling

-- 

For more than 20 years, Kahu Fred Sterling has served as the exclusive medium for Master Guide Kirael, a seventh dimensional guardian spirit. He is the author of six books including Kirael: The Great Shift and Kirael: The Ten Principles of Consciously Creating .  He shares his passionate messages via workshops , articles , audio recordings , and webcasts on www.Kirael.com. Kahu Sterling is also a gifted healer and pioneer of the Signature Cell HealingTM modality .

Sexual Freedom: Time for Uplifting Sex, by Ambika Wauters.

These could be great sexual times. Time to feel alive in our bodies, vital in our energy and free in our self expression. We are at a pivotal point in human development where human sexual activity can be open and fun.

The strict limitations which confined sex only to marriage or permanent relationships is changing. This is an important time to consider rekindling the warmth, love and heart of sexuality. Time to take sex out of the brothel and away from sneaky interludes.

We are living in a time of acute tension in our daily life. We need sex now more now than ever to help discharge tension; free up and discharge mental, emotional and even physical toxicity. Sex keeps us vital, youthful and puts a lilt in our step. We have some choices to make about what is acceptable to us, what we want and who we want to enjoy it with.

Sex needs to be free and flowing. It also wants firm boundaries that keep us safe and healthy. It must be safe above all, both physically and emotionally, for us to feel free to let go and be as sexual as we dare. It must be consensual, with honored agreements to respect the wishes of our partner. It absolutely must be desired by both partners to be fun.

Get the ground rules of your life in place. Know your limits, know yourself!!! We all have a need for sexual expression. If we give ourselves permission it can be uplifting and support our lives in healthy ways. Time to choose love, choose pleasure and balance in our striving.

We are now free to enjoy sex alone without shame, with committed partners or with a variety of different people, if we choose. We are free to say we want one partner or many. Whatever we say is alright, as long as the free choice is ours. There are no right or wrongs except what we allow to limit or define our sexual boundaries.

The moral hazard of being covert, dishonest, cheating in spite of commitment should be carefully considered. This is not about sex as much as it is about being naughty or perpetrating hurt on someone who we think controls our lives. That’s not sex. It’s immaturity.

People who are hurtful through indiscrete sexual exploitation create mistrust that leaves an indelible scar on the spirit. It can take a woman a life time of daily forgiveness to deal with a man who has cheated on her. Men can lose all sense of their worth when a woman goes with another man. The human spirit is powerful. It is also delicate and, often, fragile, lest we forget.

On the other hand, if no agreement exists between people and each is free to explore sexual opportunities, as they wish, less hurt is likely to happen. Freedom can exist inside relationship and marriage as well as outside. It takes mature people to allow freedom in their relationship. The boundaries must be agreed upon before hand so no one is hurt or left wanting. Freedom comes with the responsibility to handle it wisely and do no harm. Few are capable of that level of freedom but it is possible. Polyamorie and the books of Taj Anapol are wonderful resources for those seeking more information about multiple partners.

If there is no commitment or bond holding two people to monogamy then each is free to choose how they want to portion out their sexual activity. Look carefully in the field and see if there is anyone that attracts you, or appeals to you who holds the promise of delivering pleasure. You may be surprised to spend a day at the mall or on a long train ride surmising who would be a fun sexual partner. It sure makes the time pass quickly.

Real sexual freedom suggests we are each responsible for our own sex lives. That means the quality of our experience, whom we share our deepest and most intimate sexual fantasies with, are in our charge. If we want it dirty, naughty or punishing we may want to look at what drives these desires to be diminished or punished.

If we are jealous, insecure or afraid we may want to look at what is under our need to manipulate another to change his or her life for us. That is how children look at life. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t mature. Growing up means we are able to handle the emotions that accompany sex. It would be silly to think there is no emotional upheaval with sex. There is. Nothing will bring up emotions faster and with more urgency then sex.

How we handle our feelings is the key. No victims and no martyrs wanted in this arena. Mature sex, free or not, asks us to find our empowerment at every level. It asks us to live in our integrity, do the right and loving thing with those we truly care about and look at what sex brings up. In some cases we may need to look at our bitterness, anger, sense of abandonment or disappointment. We are capable of healing all these residual emotions long left unconscious. Till sex forced them to the surface of consciousness like an erupting volcano.

Healthy sexuality between consenting adults can be fun. It can be erotic, enjoyable, deeply releasing and healing. It’s a joy to participate in sex with yourself, your friends or your beloved when there is no stake in holding a person to your vision of how they should be or what they have to do afterwards to prove you are alright or that they love you.

Let’s take sex out of the dark ages and give it a new face. Let’s make it open to exploration, free from guilt, shame or punishment. And let’s keep it honest so we don’t abuse or hurt people we love. Telling the truth about what we want is a creative act of kindness to ourselves. Creativity can be a story, it can be a painting or a little play acting out what we want. Let’s start making sex fun. It can be a new form of erotic pleasure.

Sex still has some dark overtones. Nothing has more drama or emotional charge attached to it than sex; especially illicit sex, or forbidden sex. We still want to kill people who betray and cheat on us. We get crazy when our partner wants sex with someone else. We punish and diminish ourselves when we feel we are not enough to please someone we love. Are we no more evolved than this? Do we love ourselves less for what someone has done out of their own insecurity?

What a waste of time and emotional energy to lie, cheat and be naughty. Let’s bring desire into a safe haven and let it find wholesome expression. If we were able to say sex is an expression of our creative mind, the drive of our hormones and the love in our heart to connect with someone why would we punish ourselves or hurt another for this.

Finding wholesome boundaries around sexual conduct protects us. It helps us enjoy ourselves through the natural, wholesome expression of pleasure. Pleasure is the foundation of life and fundamental to enjoying good sex. Without it as the underpinning of our physical life we dry up and our spirit shrivels, not to mention certain body parts.

If sexuality is not for you then let’s discuss some of the things that can help rekindle your vitality, stimulate sexuality in wholesome, healthy ways. This can help you establish pleasure as one of the primary foundations of your life.

It’s time to explore pleasure and sex as a basis for living well. Yes, pleasure and sexuality are both linked to healthy longevity. Through sexuality we find a good release for pent up physical and emotional energy, either partnered or through masturbation. Through sex we arouse the primary life force that drives us forward through the challenges and obstacles in front of us each day.

A natural and pleasurable sexual release can sustain us during a long work day, allow us to help others with their problems without feeling drained and help us manage stress that would otherwise take us to our knees. Sex completes the circle of giving.

Pleasure comes in many forms, but it primarily is a sensual function that involves awakening our nerve receptors to joy, delight and even bliss. It helps us know we are alright, amidst trial, challenge and the daily plodding through we all face from time to time. It feeds us at a fundamental level where we absolutely know life is good and so are we.

Read the original post, here.

--

Ambika Wauters CCH, RS.HOM(NA) is the director of the Institute of Life Energy Medicine. She is a classically trained homeopath, certified by the Council of Homeopathic Certification, and a member of the Society of Homeopaths, formerly in the UK and currently in the USA. She received her diploma in homeopathic medicine from The School of Homeopathic Medicine, North Yorkshire, Britain, and was a member of the Society of Homeopaths in the UK, from 1995-1998 before returning to America. Ambika has worked in the corporate sector offering homeopathy and holistic healing consultations to the John Lewis Partnership, Visa International, Piatkus Publishing and Cranfield School of Business Management, all in the UK. She currently maintains a private practice in classical homeopathy with people around the globe.  Ambika is author of twenty books on chakras, homeopathy, and the realm of angels. Her work is translated into over ten languages. She is currently writing about healing martyrdom and finding fulfillment in freedom, creativity and sexuality. Ambika is the inventor of Pure Fulfillment Feminine Lubricant. This product provides natural solutions to diminished libido in women. It is made from natural herbal compounds in a homeopathic base. Pure Fulfillment can be purchased on her web site and found online at purefulfillment@gmail.com. Ambika‘s work supports total regeneration. She works with products developed by Stem Cell Products, LLC, that enhance beauty, give energy and promote vitality. These products include Signals, for beautiful skin, ModeraXL, a neuro-transmittor used to stop addictions and feed the depleted brain, and Trigger, a non sugar, non-caffeinated energy drink that gives physical strength and fortitude.

Does your identity help or hinder you?, by Eliana Gilad.

Does your identity help or hinder you?

I've just returned from an inspiring weekend with my community of friends who practice The Work of Byron Katie. We meet once a month for focused self inquiry and enjoying the company of one another.

What is your "Identity"?

What do you identify yourself with? How do you describe yourself? Does this create a sense of stress or joy in your life?

We explored the various ways in which the roles, feelings and thoughts we identify with may be causing us undo stress. Funny how the most basic of identities e.g. "I am a woman", when consciously questioned, can bring up a mixed bag of feelings. Questioning thoughts, also allows for questioning feelings.

Are you really who you think you are?

Who is it who decides what you think? Parents? Society? Schools? Friends? Media? There are so many influences within which we are raised. We are influenced by those around us. Yet it is we who decide how we think.

Let's look at two children in the same household, who experience similar experiences. Each will interpret it differently. For example, my parents limited the amount of time that my brother and I could watch television. They gave us each one hour a week to choose the program we each wanted to watch. I was more of a book worm... one program a week was plenty for me. I never developed a heavy television habit. I actually threw my television out in the late 1980's preferring to live directly in life's drama.

My brother, on the other hand, went to the opposite direction. He wanted more television. In fact, he ended up going into television production on a professional basis.

Same household, same parents, same situation... two totally different outcomes.

Is your identity helping or hindering your progress?

As we inquired more deeply into these basic assumptions e.g. I am a woman, I am my parents daughter, my brother's sister etc... I unearthed a long held belief that "If I speak and live my truth, I will be nailed on the cross". I asked someone to ask me the four basic questions which helped me to take an objective look at a basic belief that has been running inside of me for what seems like a million lifetimes.

This deeply rooted fear has kept me from fully giving the gifts I have to give and hindered me from fully enjoying the fruits of my labor. When I turned the sentence around to look at it from a different perspective, I was astounded to see that: When I speak and live my truth, I will be safe and supported.

So, I am hereby publicly claim my intent to speak and live my truth. Writing this post is one example of that. Committing to make more music is another. It's time that I come out more fully. Expect to be hearing more from me in the near future. I have alot to share.

What about you? How does your identity help or hinder you? 

Read the original post here.

--

Since 1994 Eliana Gilad has worked with thousands of healthcare professionals, coaches, yoga teachers, spiritual healers and peace leaders, helping them to reconnect to the Source of their authentic and natural voice. Eliana has dedicated her life to revive the ancient healing music practices of the biblical prophetess Miriam through the creation of Voices of Eden music. The music was medically researched for three years at Meir Hospital Neonatal ward and found to lower blood pressure, heart rate, increase focus and quality of sleep amongst the neonates, their parents and the medical staff. Gilad has presented with Dr. Masaru Emoto (Messages from Water) who has also researched her music, and has been invited to present before the United Nations three times. Eliana becomes filled with joy when helping her clients reconnect to the Source of their authentic and natural voices. She has produced three cds and two books. She composes ancient healing and transformational music. Join her "From Holiday Stress to Holiday Spirit" 11/28 Free Teleclass.