"Dear Saint-Germain, I love learning new and alternative ways to heal. I want to help others with what I already know, but I would still like to learn more. Right now I’m involved with homeopathy, reflexology, Reiki, and yoga.
"My big problem is stage-fright. I have difficulty getting up in front of others, no matter what I’m doing. I feel exposed, so I find myself hiding my light. This keeps me from offering all that I am in service to others. Can you help me?"
My dear friend, I AM Saint-Germain.
It is clear that you have a great love of knowledge and an affinity for the healing arts. You are also drawn toward sensitive expression of all kinds, and this is something you should encourage in yourself as you go through life. You understand things easily, your interests are diverse, and your desire to use your creative talents is admirable.
You love learning, teaching, and performing, as well as being in compassionate service to others. However, as you already mentioned, you’re experiencing some discomfort in doing this. You call it “stage fright” or performance anxiety. But in reality, it has more to do with how you relate to others emotionally, how you maintain your personal boundaries, and how willing you are to get to the depth of your experiences. Here is what I mean by this.
Subconscious emotional patterns
You are naturally attracted to positions of leadership, where you can demonstrate and share what you know with others. Yet, you can also feel uncomfortable being in front of people, whether these are friends and peers, or individuals you haven’t met before.
This is largely due to subconscious emotional patterns that you carry within you. These may come from past lifetimes or earlier in this lifetime. But what they share in common is a conditioned expectation that you will be shamed, embarrassed, threatened, or hurt if you speak out or perform in front of people – no matter how much you might want to do this.
What this suggests is that self-worth and esteem are involved here, as well as knowing that you are safe and secure in the world, and that you can trust others.
This is the reason that you may feel challenged to move beyond your love of learning, to interacting more with your clients. To do this requires you to establish bonds of trust, and this could feel emotionally threatening to you. This is one of the main reasons you feel anxious in front of people, something that you are calling “stage fright”.
The perspective of neutral observation
You are being encouraged by your Soul to detach from the anxiety and discomfort that you feel when you are around people. This anxiety simply reinforces the belief that being seen as you really are, is an avenue to ridicule and shame, or a threat to your self-esteem.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should suppress or deny your feelings, or stop expressing yourself. It simply means that you should put things in perspective. It means that you would benefit from assuming the perspective of the neutral observer as much as you can, until you learn to feel more comfortable around people.
When you take up the perspective of the neutral observer, you are calling upon your capacity to watch yourself as you interact with people, without getting caught up in the fear of being embarrassed. It is a detached and humble kind of self-assurance that doesn’t depend upon the validation or approval of others.
You've learned to hide your light from others in order to protect yourself and not expose your sensitive feelings to rejection. But this is not working for you any more. Instead, if you can learn to let yourself be seen, instead of fearing that you will be hurt if you are exposed, then you will allow others to connect with you in a heartfelt way. This is how they will learn to trust you as a healer, and how you will learn to serve them as a provider.
When you assume the perspective of the neutral observer, it’s easy to remember your worth and abilities, and just go from there. You won’t be fearful about the impression that you will make on others, and your clients will sense this and relax. As a consequence, you’ll be able to focus on applying your skills, and your clients will be able to receive the treatment and care they seek from you.
As you reach this place of neutrality, try shifting your attention to helping your clients. An attitude of service is a good remedy for performance anxiety because it takes the spotlight off of you, and allows you to shine your healing light on them, instead.
Staying open, while maintaining boundaries
Yes, as a healer you will need to establish trust with your clients as you serve them. You will do this by staying open to them emotionally, but within appropriate boundaries. This means that you must be available to inspire and uplift them, so that their healing is facilitated by your care and concern – but without getting pulled into their drama or suffering, which would only debilitate you and encourage their dependence.
Maintaining appropriate boundaries with your clients means that you will need to establish your position as a professional who serves them, but not give away ground or disadvantage yourself by feeling uneasy around them. If you do, then you will soon find that there is no place left for you to stand. Remember to trust yourself and the Spirit that guides you. Have confidence in your ability and don’t depend on the approval or recognition of those you serve. It’s enough that the work is done.
Getting to the depth of your experiences
You are motivated by high ideals and a love of healing knowledge, but now you will need to ground these in the practical organization and execution of your craft. This is going to require your focus, discipline, and renewed commitment.
Remember that it will soon be time for you to get to the depths of your experiences as a healer. This means that you will have to make a commitment to staying focused, and not allow yourself to get sidetracked by competing interests or the temptation to try out everything that attracts you, without mastering any single modality.
What is important for you right now is that you thoughtfully examine everything that you want to be doing. Look at this, and be honest with yourself about what really matters to you and what you want to achieve with your career. How do you want to step out into the world of service as a healer?
You do love knowledge, it’s true. You’re someone who’s born to illuminate your mind by the light of your spiritual lamp. This means that you will be motivated to learn about the things that feel good to you and that you connect with deeply – and this is how it should be. But what you need now is to ground and focus your spiritual desire, so that you can step into meaningful and knowledgeable service as a healer.
Your Soul is encouraging you to trust yourself more, remain confident in your skills, and have faith in the spiritual processes that are operating behind the scenes in your life. There is a great transformation taking place in your life now, and it’s going to continue for the next few years. So, be willing to accept what’s offered to you, if it feels right. Trust your intuition in this, as this IS the voice of guidance speaking to you in your moments of calm stillness.
Remember that you are dearly loved, my friend. I AM Saint-Germain.
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