How Emotionally Mature are You in Love?, by Gina Hardy.

Most of my lovely couples come to me in relational angst when their bag of long standing coping “tools” has run aground and they have nothing left with which to communicate their feelings and needs in a healthy way.

Many couples just cope, rather than experience deeply fulfilling and nourishing relationships, because they feel, it’s “better not to rock the boat…”, “it’s easier this way….” “I can’t bear the thought of losing my husband/wife, so I’ll do anything…..” “Well we have kids and so we must stay together…”

Too many arguments or the lack of them, create all sorts of symptomatic behavior of two inner children trying to get their needs met that somehow escaped them in childhood.

Have you ever noticed yourself or others, when you are in conflict, how childish the words and body language is?

“You always do that….!” “You don’t love me…..!” “I hate you…..!” “You never let me do anything I want to do….!”

Tasmanian devil body language, slamming doors, shutting down, throwing yourself on the bed, running out of the house, throwing things, bolting the door, pushing your partner away. The list goes on. Are any of these familiar?

It seems the deeper the conflict the more your inner child will show itself in all it’s stunted glory because what you need the most, is being threatened not to be available.

From the moment we are parted from our mother’s umbilical cord and experience separateness, the inner demons are born. Some spiritual folk say the Light (love) is born alongside the dark (fear). The brain stem or “old brain” as the Imago Relational experts call it, is watching out for signs of impending death, hence the power of this part of the brain and its flight / fight protective response.

As a baby, the feeling of our parents/caretakers being near is of utmost importance. We are safe when they are around. If they are absent, the fear of death is alerted within the psyche and over the years can develop into severe psychological disturbances.  Thankfully most of us are not severely disturbed but I do feel we all suffer from some degree of emotional lack of care at some stage in our lives and that shows up like a clear blue day in our intimate relationships for the distinct purpose of healing it and growing beyond it.

The saying goes that you truly connect to your deepest knowing when you suffer and I, for one, know this to be true. I have met people and thankfully for them they haven’t had any great upheavals in their lives thus far, but on another level appear disconnected from the Self. I wonder then that emotional maturity is connected, in part, to how deeply you have suffered in your life time and more importantly what you have learned from your experiences.

Throughout life all we need is love, approval and safety to develop in a healthy way. That’s it, end of. However many of us have not had equals or large measures of all of the above and so wherever lack is felt at whatever stage of growth, we will relive it when we fall in love. How do I know? Because I see it every time I work with couples.

It’s like the mini explosions of the love within, cracks open all the mucky bits that float to the surface for healing and releasing with the assistance, but often not easily, with our significant other.

Emotionally fit people have exercised their emotional muscles. They are able to understand themselves and how they feel in every situation and have learned the art of communicating in a healthy non-threatening but boundaried way.

Intellectual fitness doesn’t mean people are emotionally fit as well. You need to spend time on both. I know many intellectually fit people, who have amazing jobs/careers, but have disastrous love lives!

Some things to spot in emotionally immature people that may not bring you a happy relationship:

1.  Age, particularly with men, DOES have something to do with emotional fitness. I have dated much younger men in the past 25 years and longed for an emotional hunk but got an emotional fledgling. No fault of their own, just age and life. Ladies, I urge you. Have a good time but beware. Statistically men are less emotionally mature than women, so chasing after little inner boys when you want a mature conscious relationship, may end in tears after the honeymoon stage transitions.

2. Out of control emotions. Emotionally strong people can look at what’s coming up inside them and be able to articulate it without kicking off. Does your relationship suffer regular rows, nasty words, blame, judgment, criticism or even physical abuse? None of us are perfect and this one sweeps up a whole chunk of the global population because, let’s face it we all judge and criticize every day. Protesteth not! But we can always find the room to work on it. What we judge is in us!

3.  Unable to show/discuss feelings – many women will say “oh lord this is so my man!” . It’s interesting thought because many people who remain calm, stoic and won’t be rattled are not necessarily emotionally fit. They speak of being the sensible peacekeepers in times of conflict but will not show up emotionally and explain how they feel. This can be deemed as passive control. Behaviors range from, hiding away in rooms, books, at the pub or on the golf course and avoid talking at all costs. Emotional avoidance doesn’t exercise the muscle; it keeps it limp and weak!

4.  The perceived easy life – as described before, suffering generally connects you to the Self. I dated a guy ten years ago, who on the outside, came from a good stable background, but he had experienced little suffering in his 26 years. Not that I wished that on him but when I showed up as Mrs. Emotional Pants, he couldn’t seem to really get how I was feeling when things got tricky. He hadn’t been there and so had no recollection of feeling those emotions.

You could label such behaviors as Asperger’s Syndrome – which in essence is an inability to socially interact. Wikipedia describe it as a genetic disorder which I believe to be a load of baloney, because as Bruce Lipton would correct, these conditions are developed as a direct result of our environment i.e our upbringing.

Exercising the emotional muscles within your relationships can be done in a variety of ways:

1.  SELF development – you don’t need me to tell you where to go nowadays but the self-development industry has evolved through people seeking love, safety and approval within themselves. Naturally with introspective processes comes the ability to mature emotionally as you choose to explore every feeling and emotion to their fullest. “Everything is energy” is the growing mantra. What you become, so you attract. Self-development is the ability to turn around on your life path and look at yourself warts and all and to begin to clear out those bits that hold you back. As you heal from the past, so you emotionally grow.

2.  Argue – yes that’s right! Arguing exercises the emotional muscles, particularly for those who find it hard to talk. Practice airing your views and feelings. Encourage each other to go for it. To make it more palatable, encourage each other to hold stage and vocalize thoughts and feelings while the other keeps quiet. Want that for each other. Truths rarely come out with people who say “oh we never argue.” No wonder at it that these people often suffer physical ails like migraines, depression and anxiety!

3.  Learn to communicate with your beloved in a healthy way. You can get tips and hints on my comms blog:  http://www.ginahardy.co.uk/category/communication. In any situation I encourage you to use the following language:

“When you do that darling, I feel sad/lonely/hurt/frustrated/irritated….” “I could really do with a cuddle/some time talking/help with the laundry children etc…..” “What feels/doesn’t feel good for me is….?” Conscious languaging will get you heard in an easier non-threatening way. Be willing always to serve your relationship by expressing what you feel and what you need. Work as a team. So there you have it. A few thoughts and some energy about emotional maturity. Like anything, we need to practice, practice, learn, and learn. The journey of you is indeed the best one you will ever take, so do yourself a favor; help your planet by aiming to be the best you can be. Emotional immaturity causes wars and pain. That’s old paradigm. Belong to the new every time.

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Original post here: http://omtimes.com/2011/04/how-emotionally-mature-are-you-in-love-2/ About Gina Hardy: http://www.ginahardy.co.uk If you would like to try Conscious Dating and want to connect with a community of like-minded souls on the same path as you, visit http://AscendingHearts.com

Do you hide your light from others?, by Alexandra and Dan.

"Dear Saint-Germain, I love learning new and alternative ways to heal. I want to help others with what I already know, but I would still like to learn more. Right now I’m involved with homeopathy, reflexology, Reiki, and yoga. 

"My big problem is stage-fright. I have difficulty getting up in front of others, no matter what I’m doing. I feel exposed, so I find myself hiding my light. This keeps me from offering all that I am in service to others. Can you help me?" 

My dear friend, I AM Saint-Germain. 

It is clear that you have a great love of knowledge and an affinity for the healing arts. You are also drawn toward sensitive expression of all kinds, and this is something you should encourage in yourself as you go through life. You understand things easily, your interests are diverse, and your desire to use your creative talents is admirable. 

You love learning, teaching, and performing, as well as being in compassionate service to others. However, as you already mentioned, you’re experiencing some discomfort in doing this. You call it “stage fright” or performance anxiety. But in reality, it has more to do with how you relate to others emotionally, how you maintain your personal boundaries, and how willing you are to get to the depth of your experiences. Here is what I mean by this.

Subconscious emotional patterns

You are naturally attracted to positions of leadership, where you can demonstrate and share what you know with others. Yet, you can also feel uncomfortable being in front of people, whether these are friends and peers, or individuals you haven’t met before. 

This is largely due to subconscious emotional patterns that you carry within you. These may come from past lifetimes or earlier in this lifetime. But what they share in common is a conditioned expectation that you will be shamed, embarrassed, threatened, or hurt if you speak out or perform in front of people – no matter how much you might want to do this. 

What this suggests is that self-worth and esteem are involved here, as well as knowing that you are safe and secure in the world, and that you can trust others. 

This is the reason that you may feel challenged to move beyond your love of learning, to interacting more with your clients. To do this requires you to establish bonds of trust, and this could feel emotionally threatening to you. This is one of the main reasons you feel anxious in front of people, something that you are calling “stage fright”.

The perspective of neutral observation

You are being encouraged by your Soul to detach from the anxiety and discomfort that you feel when you are around people. This anxiety simply reinforces the belief that being seen as you really are, is an avenue to ridicule and shame, or a threat to your self-esteem. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should suppress or deny your feelings, or stop expressing yourself. It simply means that you should put things in perspective. It means that you would benefit from assuming the perspective of the neutral observer as much as you can, until you learn to feel more comfortable around people. 

When you take up the perspective of the neutral observer, you are calling upon your capacity to watch yourself as you interact with people, without getting caught up in the fear of being embarrassed. It is a detached and humble kind of self-assurance that doesn’t depend upon the validation or approval of others. 

You've learned to hide your light from others in order to protect yourself and not expose your sensitive feelings to rejection. But this is not working for you any more. Instead, if you can learn to let yourself be seen, instead of fearing that you will be hurt if you are exposed, then you will allow others to connect with you in a heartfelt way. This is how they will learn to trust you as a healer, and how you will learn to serve them as a provider.

When you assume the perspective of the neutral observer, it’s easy to remember your worth and abilities, and just go from there. You won’t be fearful about the impression that you will make on others, and your clients will sense this and relax. As a consequence, you’ll be able to focus on applying your skills, and your clients will be able to receive the treatment and care they seek from you. 

As you reach this place of neutrality, try shifting your attention to helping your clients. An attitude of service is a good remedy for performance anxiety because it takes the spotlight off of you, and allows you to shine your healing light on them, instead.

Staying open, while maintaining boundaries

Yes, as a healer you will need to establish trust with your clients as you serve them. You will do this by staying open to them emotionally, but within appropriate boundaries. This means that you must be available to inspire and uplift them, so that their healing is facilitated by your care and concern – but without getting pulled into their drama or suffering, which would only debilitate you and encourage their dependence. 

Maintaining appropriate boundaries with your clients means that you will need to establish your position as a professional who serves them, but not give away ground or disadvantage yourself by feeling uneasy around them. If you do, then you will soon find that there is no place left for you to stand. Remember to trust yourself and the Spirit that guides you. Have confidence in your ability and don’t depend on the approval or recognition of those you serve. It’s enough that the work is done.

Getting to the depth of your experiences

You are motivated by high ideals and a love of healing knowledge, but now you will need to ground these in the practical organization and execution of your craft. This is going to require your focus, discipline, and renewed commitment.

Remember that it will soon be time for you to get to the depths of your experiences as a healer. This means that you will have to make a commitment to staying focused, and not allow yourself to get sidetracked by competing interests or the temptation to try out everything that attracts you, without mastering any single modality. 

What is important for you right now is that you thoughtfully examine everything that you want to be doing. Look at this, and be honest with yourself about what really matters to you and what you want to achieve with your career. How do you want to step out into the world of service as a healer? 

You do love knowledge, it’s true. You’re someone who’s born to illuminate your mind by the light of your spiritual lamp. This means that you will be motivated to learn about the things that feel good to you and that you connect with deeply – and this is how it should be. But what you need now is to ground and focus your spiritual desire, so that you can step into meaningful and knowledgeable service as a healer. 

Your Soul is encouraging you to trust yourself more, remain confident in your skills, and have faith in the spiritual processes that are operating behind the scenes in your life. There is a great transformation taking place in your life now, and it’s going to continue for the next few years. So, be willing to accept what’s offered to you, if it feels right. Trust your intuition in this, as this IS the voice of guidance speaking to you in your moments of calm stillness. 

Remember that you are dearly loved, my friend. I AM Saint-Germain.

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This material is offered to help free us from limitations by expanding human consciousness. It may be distributed without charge, provided this intention is honored. Commercialization by other parties requires the expressed written consent of the copyright holders, Alexandra and Dan. If you are reproducing this material, please credit the authors by name and include the following link: http://www.joyandclarity.com
© copyright 2007-2012 Alexandra and Dan
This message was originally posted here

The Power of Vulnerability, by Brené Brown

At the end of 2010, a reseacher named Brené Brown gave a talk at her local TEDx event, TEDxHouston. That talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” has since become a web-video phenomenon — viewed and shared by millions of people, who write us to say that her words — on shame, vulnerability and honesty — moved them, inspired them, helped them make change in their own lives. (It has also inspired at least two tattoos.)

See video: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

When we invited Dr. Brown to speak at TED2012, she shared the impact her new fame has had on her own life and how putting her words on this big stage has caused her to reexamine what she knows about vulnerability. Before she spoke, our own Roxanne Hai sat down with Dr. Brown to ask her a few questions about the nature of vulnerability.

See video: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

What’s the greatest lesson you have learned in your own life?

When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. Keep worthiness off the table. Your raise can be on the table, your promotion can be on the table, your title can be on the table, your grades can be on the table. But keep your worthiness for love and belonging off the table. And then ironically everything else just takes care of itself.

How has your own journey in vulnerability and authenticity changed as you’ve become more well known and your work has become more well known?

Oh, it’s been hard. I call 2010 the year of the vulnerability talk and 2011 the year of walking the talk, because I was very unprepared. I so believe everything I said, and I really am trying to live that way, but I’ve become very clear in the last year that it is more complicated and more difficult than I thought.

One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that’s such a downer, and people hate that topic. It’s not that vulnerability is the upside, but it’s better than shame, I guess. And what I realized over the last year is, if you don’t understand shame and you don’t have some shame resilience and awareness, then you cannot be vulnerable.

How did you come to realize that you needed to understand shame to be vulnerable?

It has been a great year, tons of support, tons of people saying, “God, I’m with you, thank you,” and then also really hardcore mean-spirited, cruel attacks. Which are just part of the process, right? And I think the reason I’m still standing is not because the word got out there that I was vulnerable, but I’m still standing because I understand shame.

I was very careful not to attach my worthiness to how well that talk did, because when you do that, then those comments are devastating. It’s not that they’re not devastating anyway — they hurt your feelings. I would argue more than ever that vulnerability is still just absolutely essential. That we can’t know things like love and belonging and creativity and joy without vulnerability, but in this culture of reflexive cynicism you better also really have an understanding of shame if you’re going to put yourself out there.

You mentioned you have received attacks and negative feedback from your vulnerability work. Can you talk about those?

I got a lot of feedback that was constructive and hard to hear, things like: “You shouldn’t be talking about vulnerability unless you’re going to talk about the construct of trust, and what do you think about trust?” And the truth is, I don’t understand it well enough to talk about it yet. I’m really still researching. And “What about this image that you used, I think it was hurtful.” It’s been a great debate. And I’m not afraid of that. You’ve been a faculty person for thirteen years, you’re used to some horrendous discussion and debate. I love that.

But the stuff which was really the most hurtful was just the mean-spirited stuff like, “If I looked like you, I would embrace imperfection too.” Or “Good mothers don’t unravel, and I feel sorry for your kids.” Just really mean-spirited cruelty, which is rampant and is really a part of our culture right now.

One of the things that I’ve learned, that I didn’t know before that [TEDxHouston] talk exploded, is how hard I’d been working to keep my career small. And that was a little bit heartbreaking for me, because I usually thought of myself as being pissed off because I couldn’t get my work out there enough. But really I think I was engineering that, because I was afraid of these things that actually happened, like the personal attacks.

For people to look at other folks who are trying to come up and share their work with the world, or their art, their ideas, their writing, their poetry, whatever, and say “You can’t care what other people think” is bullshit. When you lose your capacity to care what other people think, you’ve lost your ability to connect. But when you’re defined by it, you’ve lost your ability to be vulnerable. That tightrope is what my talk is about, and I think that balance bar we carry is shame resilience. I think it’s the thing that keeps us steady. If we can understand that: I’m not the best comment, I’m not the best accolade I’ve received, and I’m not the worst. This is my work.

What have you learned from the critics?

One thing that they’ve taught me, that I’m grateful for, is that at the end of every day, and at the end of every week, and at the end of my life, I want to be able to say I contributed more than I criticized. So they’ve taught me that I’m still standing.

What’s the one thing you really want to share, that didn’t make it into your talk?

I wish I could talk more about what I see going on in schools and corporations and families and churches and organizations. I wish I could talk more about why and how we’re losing people. The whole measurement idea of good parenting versus bad parenting, good employees versus bad employees — I don’t think it’s helpful and I don’t think it’s illuminating. I think the best way to look at things is: Are people engaged? Are people engaged parents, engaged employees, engaged leaders?

And I don’t think engagement can happen without vulnerability, and I definitely don’t think it can happen in the midst of shame. If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.

There’s not a talk that I’ve seen since I’ve been here — and I’ve been in all the sessions, and I saw the TED Fellows talks — there’s not a talk I’ve seen where people really touch lives and made a huge difference where they were not excruciatingly vulnerable. The results that we see at TED, and the innovation, and the incredible music and the art is an expected outcome, in my opinion, of human potential when people are willing to be brave and vulnerable. The reason why this is so rare is not because of the human potential that’s here. It’s because of the willingness of the people who are here to be brave and vulnerable. We all have this capacity; it’s a bravery conference. There’s no one who’s up there, including myself, who hasn’t failed. And I seriously doubt there’s many people up there who haven’t been the subject of major, heartbreaking criticism.

What group of people do you feel has been most impacted by your talk?

Across the board, I would say. If you want to ask me who needs it the most, I think we all need it. But the people who are really grappling with it the most are in the corporate sector. Veterans are a population that I’m really interested in, and police officers and firefighters, and people who we basically pay to be invulnerable. Then, when they return back to their lives, whether it’s at night when they come home or when they come back from a tour, they have no capacity for vulnerability and their lives are falling apart. We’ve seen a lot of research showing that for the veterans coming back from the Middle East right now, they’re more likely to die when they get home than over there, because of drugs, alcohol and violence. So I think all of us need this lesson, and all of us need this work. It’s not easy for any of us.

I asked my girlfriends (who are also big fans of your work) what they would ask you if they had the chance, and they all came back with this: What advice would you give to someone who feels like they are not [blank] enough to go about living more authentically and vulnerably?

Well, the idea of “I’m never enough” — beautiful enough, successful enough, thin enough, popular enough, loved enough, worthy enough — that’s shame and scarcity, and I’ve seen people overcome that every single day. I’ve gone through the process myself. I’ve interviewed people over the course of four years who’ve done a lot of this work. You have to understand shame. You have to understand where the message comes from, what drove it, how has it protected you in the past, and are you willing to look it in the eye and say, “Thanks, I appreciate it, but I’m not subscribing anymore. I’ve got a new way of doing things, and maybe you kept me safe and small in the past, but I’m not doing that.” The answer is absolutely that I’m not enough. You can overcome that, but you can’t overcome it without an understanding of shame. If you are not willing to have that conversation, there’s no way to the other side of it. You have to know what shame is.

How has understanding shame and vulnerability changed you as a parent?

Oh, it’s changed everything. My husband’s a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can’t raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. Because even if you don’t shame them, and even if you are actively trying to raise them feeling good about who they are, they’re never going to treat themselves better than you treat yourself. So that’s the bad news and the good news, but mostly the sucky news. If you want to raise a daughter with a really healthy body image, you better love your body as a mother, because that counts way more than looking at your daughter and saying “You’re beautiful and your body is beautiful.” All that matters to her is how she sees you acting with your own body. Which sucks. We can’t give children what we don’t have. We just have to be the adults we hope they grow up to be.

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Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. She spent the first five years of her decade-long study focusing on shame and empathy, and is now using that work to explore a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness.

The Arcturians: The Healing of Victim Consciousness

The present old world that is fading away, but in which you still live, is the world that you have created since Millenniums, by being identified with victim consciousness.

Your 3th density is basically characterized by the feeling of being victimized. It is the separate identity that is limiting itself by certain circumstances, presuming that this circumstance is absolute and unchanging reality, whereby you neglect your  own creative powers in any given moment of dramatizing the  victim.

And so the world is experienced as a constant series, a constant process, that seems to occur TO an individual, without the understanding that you all have God Given choices in any moment. If there is not the choice to always change a situation, you at least have the choice how to re-act to it in a way that you feel truly happy.

From our perspective, where the freedom of love and the infinity of light is shining, which is the space in which we are existing,  the  choice for victimhood appears to be a matter of false identity. It is the identity with a thought pattern that has created a seeming experience of dead-end and finite reality  which seems to be solid and unchangeable forever.

However it is your own mind pattern, that in these moments has taken on the characteristic of  a still image in the midst of a process of constant flow of energy and consciousness.

It is the image of death, hope- and helplessness, the image of stagnation and error. It is the false image of a separate God who seems to be an object. See, there is only God, God IS ALL and Everywhere. GOD is fluent and always moving, there is no standstill in His Creation Which is Thoroughly Divine and brings forth an ever unfolding current of innumerable possibilities.

YOU ARE an Image of this God, and when you experience and express victim consciousness  you have forgotten and betrayed your own Divinity. Because you yourself own the undeniable and unlimited power of creativity. But you have rather agreed to the false image of death that your churches and your societies have preached to you over Millenniums to keep you afraid and forgetful about your own God Given Creative Powers. But accept that even death is in reality a Benign Divine Process.

Your  old and deceitful society is based on victim consciousness, denying you the right to understand  and to use your own creative gifts from moment to moment, and such be in the energetic flow of  the power of love, and joy and light.

Victim consciousness happens, when you activate your separate ego in order to empower it, no matter whether you feel powerless or not. The power of the ego is always based on powerlessness.

Indeed the ego is itself the victim of all circumstances. And every time you are tempted to engage the victim, know that you are the  ego in that very moment. But when you allow yourself to expand your energy, your consciousness, your light and your love and your joy, in that moment  you are able to notice your absolute freedom of choice, the endless possibilities to create a more  glorious world than the one in which you created as a victim and by which you felt victimized.

As everything is your  creation, high or low, also your victim consciousness and a world of victimization, is your own creation! It does not happen to you, you created it! You attracted it, and you even interpreted it as such, no matter whether there is a reality about a victimized world or not. You just see the victim everywhere. This is because this is the image with which you identify.

So when you want to see and live in a world that is free of victimization, you first have to acknowledge the infinite power of your own creativity.

You might say, yes, but it is a fact that the world and most people are  victimized! I  just can’t deny this!

And to you we say: Yes, you are right! But is is not enough!

Such a world will only appear to you if your attention rests on this subject, and thereby recreating it! To dare to step out of this world of victimization is the way to create your own inner  freedom in any moment for yourself. And you are free if you do not allow yourself to be subject to the world of limitation and bondage to what seems to be unchangeable. And while you create this free Divine World, you create a Space that radiates from within endless love and unlimited energy and joy and light.

It is about your own experience that will help others who still live enclosed in the dream of victimization to awaken beyond this false identity, as their own Divine Reality is being ignited by the Presence of Truth That you put out there, right in front of them.

So again, it is always about the creative process in any moment! It is about choosing the Divine Truth in any moment, to create what YOU want to see in any moment by being in the joyful freedom-current of love and light.

As you certainly now understand, it is all a matter of consciousness that creates your world. The higher your own vibration the more Divine your world will be. The more United and One with All your life will be. In such a world of Oneness victimhood does not exist, because the ego is transcended.

To suffer with the ego’s deeds is a matter that needs to be healed in these times, while you take advantage of the higher frequencies on earth and the light and the love everywhere present now and ever more increasing every day.

When mankind has understood the ego’s victim consciousness, ascension truly can occur. Be assured that everybody receives the help to realize this, because when you ask for it, it will  be always given immediately in a way that is serving your own liberating conscious process in the most auspicious way.

We Bless you, dear Ones, and cannot wait to see everyone of you Awake in your Divinity, free of the ignorance and errors of the old world.

We Are The Arcturians!

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Read the original post here: http://radiantlyhappy.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-arcturians-healing-of-victim.html

Father-Son Relationships: The Things Every Boy Needs From His Dad, By Roland C. Warren.

Roland Warren, father of two sons and board member of the National Fatherhood Initiative, explains the simple but critical support any dad can give his child.

I am often asked what sons need from their fathers. My answer really boils down to a few simple but critical things that every good dad must do, built on a framework of providing, nurturing and guiding.

But here's the problem: Too often, fathers think they're doing a better job in these areas than they really are. I've found that these four questions, though, can help a father ensure he's giving his son the fundamental things he needs. (And if a child's father is not in the picture, his mother can use these questions as a guide to help her find male role models who can give her son these kinds of affirmation.)

"Does my son know that he matters to me?"

We invest -- money, time and energy -- in the things we care about. In other words, if you ever want to know what someone cares about, look at their bank statement or ask them how they spent their time.

The primary way that dads can help their boys understand that they matter is by making them a priority over the myriad demands that life throws at us. With many things competing for a dad’s money, time and energy -- our jobs, technology, entertainment, sports, television -- it is easy for a child to think that he doesn't matter. It is critical that dads make it clear to their sons that they are a priority, that our most important investment is in them and that all the other "stuff" gets only the leftovers.

"Does my son know that I love him?"

Nurturing means a lot of things. It certainly includes hugging and kissing our boys -- yes, even boys need hugs and kisses -- on a daily basis and telling them that we love them. But it also includes taking care of their daily needs, like cooking for them, giving them baths, playing with them, reading to them and helping their mothers.

And I have discovered that despite the conventional wisdom that nurturing is primarily mom’s territory, the root meaning of "nurture" is "to protect" -- a role that most dads are comfortable with.

"Does my son know that what he does is important to me?" 

A son wants to know that the way he is living his life -- his interests, schoolwork, hobbies and passions -- is pleasing to his father. And, as a good dad, it is critical for a father to guide his son into right actions and help him live a life centered on serving others.

However, you can’t expect to teach a son the value of charity if you are not charitable in how you spend time with him. You can’t expect to get him interested in your church’s community-service project if you haven't established a "community" that includes him in your home.

Show him that everything he does is important to you, and then you can show him what is really important -- and he will welcome it.

"Does my son know how proud I am of him?"

This boils down to a son’s innate need to be affirmed by his father. Your affirmation prepares your son to enter the world with the confidence and "emotional armor" that he needs in order not just to survive, but to thrive. A son needs to know that you are pleased with him, not for what he does or does not do, but because of who he is.

And remember that the way a father affirms his son depends on things like his culture and community and his son’s temperament and interests. The objective of affirmation is to meet a son at his particular point of need and to connect with him -- heart to heart. Indeed, there is no cookie-cutter approach to affirmation. One boy may simply need an encouraging word at the right time. A special breakfast out with dad may be what another son needs. A formal ceremony or rite of passage might fit certain cultures and situations.

But what all of these acts of affirmation, big and small, communicate to your son is that you are his advocate and that your love is abiding and unconditional.

--

Roland Warren is a board member (and former president) of the National Fatherhood Initiative. He can be reached at rwarren@fatherhood.org.

Original article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/01/father-son-relationships-dad-raising-boy_n_3186191.html?1367424054&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008

Warning Signs of Addiction, by Maria Khalifé

A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in excess it is nearly always bad for the health. ~ Clarence Day

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY ADDICTION?

Originally, addiction meant “devotion to” something good. Today, the meaning has changed to be the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

ARE YOU AWARE OF THE WARNING SIGNS OF ADDICTION?

Addiction, in its broadest sense, can include enslavement to watching Soap Operas, drinking too much coffee, eating too much sugar, spending too many hours at work, obsessive dieting or exercising or shopping, too much sex or having an urgent need to always being in a relationship in addition to substance abuse.

When an individual is addicted, he will set common sense aside in favor of his addiction of choice.

WARNING SIGNS OF ADDICTION

Looking to something outside of ourselves to feel good is the reverse to looking inside ourselves to feel good. The latter is correct. The first is addiction. If something (a drug, a hot fudge sundae) makes us feel good, our brain releases chemicals. Feeling “high” as a result begins to be strongly anticipated, and pursuing this “high” makes us begin to avoid those who love us (parents, friends, even spouses.) Addicts begin to lie and cheat to obtain whatever it is that makes them high and some have said they get a strong “high” just from stealing to get the drug than they did when they ingested it. Here are some more warning signs of addiction:

• Overly dramatized moodiness
• Reversal of personal habits
• Disinterested in things formerly interested inm new group of friends (with bad habits), problems with finances and the law, unexcused absences from work, vulgarity or profanity used, often keeping themselves hidden from others.

WHO IS MOST AT RISK FOR ADDICTION?

If you consider the four main elements in an individual’s life (physical, mental, emotional, and social) you will see these behaviors rampant in those who are typically addicted:

• A genetic inclination due to history of addiction with an extreme sensitivity to drugs.
• A psychological tendency toward low self-esteem or a history of depression and feeling like a victim.
• An overwhelming sense of strong emotions, like grief or anger.
• A feeling of aloneness in the midst of many family members or work associates.

ARE YOU ADDICTED? – Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you’re an addict in any way. Honesty is strongly suggested.

• Others have told you you’re an addict. Can you stop that behavior for a day, a week, forever?
• Do you become uncomfortable at the thought of not doing the behavior others call your addiction?
• Would you somehow feel “less than” if you didn’t do that behavior?
• Have you tried stopping that behavior in the past unsuccessfully?
• Have you lost friends or alienated family members because you won’t stop that behavior?

WHAT’S IN CONTROL – YOU OR THE BEHAVIOR?

Deep down inside you, would you prefer to keep doing the behavior? If there is any behavior you cannot (or will not) set aside, then this behavior controls you and not the other way around. If you’ve tried to break away from the behavior unsuccessfully but keep returning to it, it’s an addiction. When you are an addict, this is the cycle you’re going to repeat: feeling good, a loss of control, repetition and then a feeling of denial.

GETTING HELP FOR YOUR ADDICTION

The first rule for getting healthy is to admit you have a problem (look strongly at those Warning Signs of Addiction) and find a professional to help you. This person will help you to see what changes are necessary to break your habits. You’ll be working to develop new behaviors where the old ones were and you’ll have a plan of action with due dates on it to keep you on track. Recovery takes time so exercise patience – a lot of patience – and keep track of every forward step you take. If you fall off the wagon, forgive yourself and get back on.

Your individuality is blessed. Paying attention to the warning signs of addiction and cleaning up your addiction will strengthen your character and put you back on the road toward greater success. Wishing you well on your journey!

TAKE ACTION NOW

1. I will admit to being addicted if I am. If I am not, I will be grateful.
2. I’ll be in control over what now controls me.
3. I will clean up my addiction and thus, strengthen my character.

Forgiving Someone, by Maria Khalifé

We are frequently quick to brush away an insult, hurt or harsh words with a flick of our wrist and dismiss it with casual words like “That’s okay,” or “Not a problem.” Forgiving someone is more than just a reaction.

In actuality, those seemingly casual words may be carrying along two messages:

• I forgive you.
• It’s okay for you to hurt me repeatedly because I’ll just dismiss it.

As much as we wish this wouldn’t happen to us, we seem to be affected by the words and the actions of other people.  They can tell immediately by the look on your face how you are reacting to their words and their actions. There isn’t one of us who wants others to know that we have hurt feelings, so we try to move away from them as rapidly as we can.  Sometimes our “That’s okay,” or “Not a problem,” is an avoidance technique:  we brush aside our own feelings because even we don’t want to feel them.

We use our “That’s okay,” or “Not a problem,” to quickly deflect our friends apologies which then gives them permission for the behavior to happen again.  It’s subtle, I know, but it’s worth a good look to see if you are operating with this modus.

One of the first things that therapists recommend when you are trying to get a grip on your one wonderful life is to sit with your feelings.  To feel whatever it is you feel.  If you are not consciously aware of what is happening, you can do nothing to change it!

This brushing away of negative emotions is a dismissal of our own feelings.  They come because they bear great gifts.  They tell us if we are hurt.  We cannot change feeling hurt until we can admit that we are hurt.  These negative emotions are a dismissal of the negative input of others.  Dismissal carries the message “It’s okay if you hurt me.” As I said, it’s subtle, but it truly deserves your attention if you want your life and its experience to improve.  Forgiving someone graciously is what is needed.

It requires far greater honesty than you are currently exercising, or you will remain running in circular patterns of behavior.  In this cycle, without honesty interjected to stop it, you will continuously let people overstep themselves in our lives and offer pain, which we will then assume is our norm, and we will become victimized by this.

You can stop this chain of events by taking these steps:

• Thank them for their apology. You accept that they’ve asked you to forgive them.
• Next, you have to gently create more harmony in the relationship, by sharing how they made you feel. To honestly say “I felt like this (fill in the blank) when you said or did this (fill in the blank) gives you control.

This permits them to see what they’ve caused. This permits you to see what happened inside you.

Trust and forgiveness go hand in hand.  If your desire is to have a relationship that is spiritually deep, rewarding and fulfilling, this level of honesty will serve both parties well.

How we respond to others teaches them how they can act toward us. If we hurt, cry, and hide, this is what we teach them.  If we say “I was hurt when you said/did this (fill in the blank) we teach them that we trust them enough to bear that they’ve caused us pain and that we can forgive them for it. Learn how forgiving someone will grow an honest relationship that is positive and empowering for both involved.

Take Action Now

1. I will consciously observe my feelings. 
2. I will not run away from my feelings even if uncomfortable.
3. I will simply sit with my feelings and observe them.

--

Original article here: http://omtimes.com/2011/09/forgiving-someone/

Using Your Intuitive Brain, by Lisa K.

This year create and develop your own internal guidance system.  By connecting to your intuition, honing an ability to hear your inner voice and being constantly connected to your divine guidance, your life will expand and grow in ways that will amaze you.

You may already be in tune with your intuition or perhaps you’ve had some intuitive knowing, or experience, but you don’t know how to work with it and control it so you can get more detailed information or use it when you need it. Maybe you think that you are not intuitive at all.  Well, we all are intuitive, it is a natural part of us and our brains.

Did you know that you have two brains inside your head? One is the left brain (left side) and the other is the right brain (right side).  Each side performs very different functions and it is the right side that is inherently built for intuition.  You could even say that it is our intuitive mind. The left brain is analytical, it is sequential, it processes language and is critical.  The right brain is creative, has spatial awareness, understands the whole picture and is imaginative.

We live with these two sides of our brains, as two personalities in one. We draw on the pieces of each side as we need them, and both sides work in balance and cooperation with each other. Because our society emphasizes activities that mostly use our left brains, we become left-brain dominant.  We talk, we analyze and we plan and make judgements all the time.

The right brain is said to be the part of the brain that is intuitive and, in some ways, enlightened. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist, had a stroke in her left brain and fully experienced only thinking with her right brain while conscious. She then recovered the use of her left brain fully to be able to write a book about her experience.  Coupling her knowledge as a neuroscientist and her own experiences, she has a unique view on exactly what our right brain does for us from the inside out.

She describes the right brain for herself, as well as all of us, “My right mind is all about the richness of this present moment.  It is filled with gratitude for my life and everything in it.  It is content, compassionate, nurturing and eternally optimistic…My right mind is open to the eternal flow whereby I exist as one with the universe.  It is the seat of my divine mind, the knower, the wise woman and the observer.  It is my intuition and higher consciousness.”

It is with this state of mind, or this ability of ours to think this way with our right brains, that we can fully access our intuitive powers. It is through our right brain that we connect to our Higher Self and Universal knowledge. The more we access and become aware of our right brain working for us, the easier it becomes to connect to our divine guidance.

Here are some quick and easy tips you can use to build your intuitive guidance system to get more clarity and consistency by working with your right brain.

Enjoy art.  You don’t have to create art to use your creative side.  Just by looking at a painting, or a sculpture, or even nature will engage your right brain and exercise your ability to access it. Go to the museum or just go shopping and enjoy the art around you.

Be creative! I love creating these newsletters and my website with beautiful pictures because it really does stimulate my right brain.  It also helps me connect to my heart and feelings so well.  I only choose what feels light, uplifting and right to me.

Listen to music.  Music appreciation is done with our right brains.  It doesn’t have to be any particular kind of music, just music that you particularly like!

Take an afternoon nap!  That ‘power nap’ gives our minds a rest without going into deep sleep.  That is the theta state that our minds are in which activates our right brain, and quiets the left.  It also explains why sometimes we get our epiphanies or clear answers to a problem when we nap.

Intuition is a skill we all have, great minds have used theirs to make the best strategic decisions, create amazing inventions such as coming up with the iPod and the theory of relativity.  Exercise your right brain to access your intuition, and allow yourself to see what pops up!

--
Lisa K. is highly sought after intuitive coach and teacher of intuitive development. As a teacher and author, Lisa shows people how to easily connect to their inner divine guidance. Lisa K. has helped thousands of people around the world through one on one coaching, online and in person workshops and her popular radio show, “Between Heaven and Earth” which presents a variety of topics on Every Day Spirituality. You can find out more about Lisa at http://www.LMK88.com
Article taken from Om Times: http://omtimes.com/2013/03/using-your-intuitive-brain/

Relationships, by Jennifer Howard

It’s hard to imagine anything that affects us and influences us more than relationships.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

Whether it is with things, people, ourselves or with the universe. Every day we negotiate the world from these relationships. Relationships vary in their nature, from those with our loved ones—spouse/lover, families, friends, pets—to our homes, our cars, our careers, and, most importantly, to ourselves. We are all learning in one way or another to deal with these different forms of relationships.

REACHING OUR FULL POTENTIAL

Sometimes our "coping" with these different connections doesn’t go as smoothly as we would like. There is much to learn from our discomforts with these different kinds of ties. By using these discomforts as a barometer for what we need to look at within ourselves, we have a tool to help us move closer to our wholeness; wholeness—reaching our full potential—is our birthright.

DEALING WITH HARDER RELATIONSHIPS

For now, I would like to focus on our relationships with people. In our dealings with various people, we find unique opportunities to discover ourselves, to look at and release those issues that are sometimes difficult to reach alone. Every day we have opportunities to heal with people that we find challenging to be around. (Healing in this case can look like feeling at ease in a situation that could have been difficult in the past.) These opportunities include relationships with spouses, lovers, family, friends, bosses, and co-workers.

EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GROW

Most of us are faced daily with other people and, mostly, we all want to feel close to others. In our attempts to do this we have opportunities to grow, change, be more intimate and find more peace inside of ourselves. In my experience, when we say we don’t want this closeness, we are usually blocking some undefined feeling. Some of us block so strongly that we don’t know how to recognize when we feel a discomfort with others. This block can feel very natural to us, but it ultimately can keep us from our innate potential for love and closeness.

RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK

As a psychotherapist and energy healer working within a psycho-spiritual framework, I see many people from traditional and non-traditional religious backgrounds who think they can wish away, pray away or think away their difficulties in relationships and all will be fine. We are not taught in our schools, religious institutions and rarely in our homes, how to see, understand and process what is going on for us in our relationships. In our society, we are very seldom taught or encouraged to be introspective or to examine ourselves deeply. Some of us grew up in the kind of dysfunctional family that didn’t allow us the personal strength to tolerate, while quietly sinking into our selves in order to see and feel what was happening in the moment. Because of this, I see people ignoring a problem or vacillating among making it all the others people’s fault, making it their fault entirely or faulting circumstances. Once caught in these narrow vacillations, some of us don’t know how to open up to these difficulties, giving us the opportunity for internal growth. This internal growth creates external change and provides us a larger picture of reality.

HOW DO WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR PART IN RELATIONSHIPS AND NOT MOVE INTO SELF-BLAME?

How can we "heal" these issues? There are many wonderful self-help books that can get us to start thinking and questioning ourselves. I have noticed many people come to my office having read these books who have received considerable help. I’ve also seen that, for all the help we receive from these books, we come to a point where we need another person’s viewpoint to help show exactly where we are blocked. At this time, a skilled psychotherapist can be our ally in guiding us through our wounds toward wholeness, by processing the feelings, and finding the thread back to our childhood and coming to resolutions. This is almost impossible to do all by ourselves, for we are all are blind to our own blocks.

TAKE A MOMENT

All that said, I would like to give you some things to think about. Even if you’ve heard it all before, a new look could be helpful. Allow yourself to come from "beginner’s mind." Take a moment to read the following slowly:

Think of a time recently when you felt upset by something someone said to you. This could be anybody in your life. Notice what your feeling is. Give it a name (i.e. mad, sad, glad, scared, hurt, shame). Really let yourself notice the feeling and be with it. (However, I’m not suggesting that you act this feeling out or do any destructive behavior from this feeling!)

Just breath into the feeling. Notice where this feeling is in your body. Does it have a shape or color? See how long you can tolerate the feeling. If it starts to overwhelm you, stop. Breath and feel your feet on the ground. Remind yourself that you are safe right now. When you feel calm, go back inside.

As you continue, notice if this is a familiar feeling from the past. Close you eyes and breath deeply. Think-feel-sense, moving backwards in your life, going as far back in the past as you possibly can. Let yourself drift back and see what visions, memories or past feelings come up for you. Just be patient. Just let whatever comes up be seen and felt. (All of us have had childhood experiences that were less than perfect. Even the most well-intentioned caregiver couldn’t be there to nurture every moment. Parents, teachers and leaders are also working within their own wound structures.) Can you remember something that happened in your childhood that had a similar feeling to this incident?

Do you have a felt sense of image of anything? How old are you? What are you wearing? What happens? Who is there? Take a moment … breathe … remember this is the past and you are here simply recalling it. Use these questions to take you wherever you need to go. You can write the answers down or just ponder them. When you feel complete, take a deep breath. Slowly, bring yourself fully back into the here and now. Feel your feet touching the floor. Take another deep breath and try to fill up your lungs completely. Let yourself look around the room.

During this week start to become aware when people upset you and notice what happens and what you feel. You can use this process to help you trace where the difficulties originated. After you trace these discomforts and connect them to your past, the next step is to experience your feelings, grieve the loss of whatever part of your child self that wasn’t seen, heard, loved, respected, etc.

LET'S REMEMBER THAT WE ALL GROUP IN FAMILIES

Each with various levels and kinds of issues. Your parents could only teach you what they knew about life and love—and they had their own limits and misunderstandings about themselves and how the world works. Part of our human task is to grow into the most evolved people we can be. This includes resolving as many of our childhood issues as possible, leaving us less encumbered and better able to act, not from our wounding, but from our wholeness. This is who we really are. I see this as a part of our spiritual quest. As we "heal" our deeper wounding we become the people that we came into this life to be, fully human and allowing our true nature to be ever present.

BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF

Above all, be patient with yourself. For some it may take a while even to dare to feel anything. As you do let yourself connect and feel, layer after layer of emotion will come up for exploration, understanding, grieving and healing. Sometimes it may feel as though you are going through similar issues repeatedly. If you are really doing your deep work, you are never stuck going around in circles. Seen from outside, your life path is really an ascending spiral. You see, the reality is that you are looking ever deeper into your being.

--

Original post here: http://ht.ly/hbGEd

The 12 Children of the Light: An Astrological Tale, by Martin Shulman

…And it was morning as God stood before his twelve children and into each of them planted the seed of human life. One by one each child stepped forward to receive their appointed gift.

” To you Aries I give my seed first that you might have the honor of planting it. That for every seed you plant one million more will multiply in your hand. You will not have time to see the seed grow for everything you plant creates more that must be planted. You will be the first to penetrate the soil of men’s minds with My Idea. But it is not your job to nourish the idea nor to question it. Your life is action and the only action I ascribe to you is to begin making men aware of my creation. For your good work I will give you the virtue of Self Esteem.”

Quietly Aries stepped back into place.

“To you Taurus I give the power to build the seed into substance. Your job is a great one requiring patience for you must finish all that has been started or the seeds will be wasted to the wind. You are not to question nor change your mind in the middle nor to depend on others for what I ask you to do. For this I give you the gift of Strength. Use it wisely.”

And Taurus stepped back in place.

“To you Gemini I give the questions without answers so that you may bring to all an understanding of what man sees around him. You will never know why men speak or listen, but in your quest for the answer you will find my gift of Knowledge.”

And Gemini stepped back in place.

“To you Cancer I ascribe the task of teaching men about emotion. My Idea is for you to cause them laughter and tears so that all they see and think develops fullness from inside. For this I give you the gift of Family, that your fullness may multiply.”

And Cancer stepped back in place.

“To you Leo I give the job of displaying My Creation in all its brilliance to the world. But you must be careful of pride and always remember that it is My creation, not yours. For if you forget this men will scorn you. There is much joy in the job I give to you if you but do it well. For this you are to have the gift of Honor.”

And Leo stepped back in place.

“To you Virgo I ask for an examination of all man has done with My Creation. You are to scrutinize his ways sharply and remind him of his errors so that through you My Creation may be perfected. For doing this I give you the gift of Purity of Thought.” And Virgo stepped back in place.

“To you Libra I give the mission of service, that man may be mindful of his duties to others. That he may learn cooperation as well as the ability to reflect the other side of his actions. I will put you everywhere there is discord, and for your efforts I will give you the gift of Love.”

And Libra stepped back in place.

“To you Scorpio I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of men, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many times you will be pained by what you see, and in your pain you will turn away from Me and forget that it is not I but the perversion of My Idea that is causing your pain. You will see so much of man that you will come to know him as animal and wrestle so much with his animal instincts in yourself that you will lose your way; but when you finally come back to Me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of Purpose.”

And Scorpio stepped back in place.

“Sagittarius, I ask you to make men laugh for ad mist their misunderstanding of My Idea they become bitter. Through laughter you are to give man hope, and through hope turn his eyes back to Me. You will touch many lives if but only for a moment, and you will know the restlessness in every life you touch. To you Sagittarius I give the gift of Infinite Abundance, that you may spread wide enough to reach into every corner of darkness and bring it to light.”

And Sagittarius stepped back in place.

“Of you Capricorn I ask the toil of your brow, that you might teach men to work. Your task is not an easy one for you will feel all of man’s labors on your shoulders; but for the yoke of your burdens I put the responsibility of man in your hands.”

And Capricorn stepped back in place.

“To you Aquarius I give the concept of future that man might see other possibilities. You will have the pain of loneliness for I do not allow you to personalize My Love. But for turning man’s eyes to new possibilities I give you the gift of Freedom, that in your liberty you may continue to serve mankind whenever he needs you.”

And Aquarius stepped back in place.

“To you Pisces I give the most difficult task of all. I ask you to collect all of man’s sorrow and return it to me. Your tears are to be ultimately My tears. The sorrow you will absorb is the effect of man’s misunderstanding My Idea, but you are to give him compassion that he may try again. For this the most difficult task of all I give the greatest gift of all. You will be the only one of My twelve children to understand Me. But this gift of understanding is for you, Pisces for when you try to spread it to man he will not listen.”

And Pisces stepped back in place.

 …Then God said “You each have a part of My Idea.

You must not mistake the part given to you for all of My Idea, nor may you desire to trade parts with each other.

For each of you is perfect, but you will not know that until all twelve of you are ONE. For then the whole of My Idea will be revealed to each of you.”

And the children left, each determined to do his job best that he might receive his gift. But none fully understand his task or his gift, and when they returned puzzled God said, “You each believe that other gifts are better. Therefore I will allow you to trade.” And for the moment each child was elated as he considered all the possibilities of his new mission.

But God smiled as he said “You will return to Me many times asking to be relieved of your mission, and each time I will grant you your wish. You will go through countless incarnations before you complete the original mission I have prescribed for you.

I give you countless time in which to do it, but only when it is done can you be with Me.”

--

Original post from Om Times: http://omtimes.com/2012/09/the-12-children-of-the-light-an-astrological-tale/

Making friends with fear, by Toni Petrinovich.

Now, before you get all confused about why you would focus on fear or attempt to befriend it, let’s find some common ground here. The idea of “fear” is a concept, an idea about what a specific type of energy means to you. That is all that it is and since all energy is inherently neutral, you have decided that such and such or so and so cause fear for you. You are the “decider”. You make the decision and 

then you call it real. So when I am talking about making friends with fear, what I am saying in essence is that you have an opportunity to befriend a neutral energy and change its interpretation in your life.

Is fear present in your belief system? By this I mean – do you worry, become anxious or distressed when something doesn't go the way you believe or think that it should? If so, not only are you attempting to control the outcome of some event, you are actually keeping that which you wish to experience from happening. You think you are holding the best and perfect thought, yet your vibrations fueled by emotion, betray your true feelings.

This is your chance to make friends with the energy that doesn’t care what you call it, realigning into a transmission drawing to you the perfect experience. The feeling doesn’t care what you think about it. It is neutral energy given a name by you so you can control the outcome of your experience. Make a different choice. Choose to use this free-floating energy to resonate with majestic experiences.

As your ego-personality appears on the world's stage each day, taking you for a symbolic walk through your reality's adventures, the beliefs that have been programmed into you, and I mean that literally, are in control of your emotions, your thoughts and your feelings. How many times a day do you actually stop and contemplate where you truly are in the scheme of the day rather than simply reacting to what's coming at you?

It is in this moment-to-moment breath that you have a choice. You may say to yourself, “I am so afraid that I cannot act.” Or, you may say to yourself, “This experience is very unfamiliar and I am going to immerse myself in it so that I understand what it means to me as spirit.” The choice is always yours in this free-will incarnation.

Everybody, well at least in the metaphysical world, seems to be talking about the Law of Attraction. Most of those folks are also talking about how it doesn't work for them and how they're not getting 

it. It's all so simple . . . probably too simple. You absolutely have to let go of your expectations, your attachment to outcome.  

Well, doesn't that go against the law of the Law of Attraction, you might ask? No, it doesn't because although you usually believe that you are holding the thought and the feeling for what you wish to come to you, be it physically material or more subtly etheric, underlying all of that belief is your other belief, your conditioning, that it won't happen. That is the fear that I am referring to that you can befriend.

Since the Principle of Resonance cannot be fooled by your thoughts since it responds most fully to feeling, you can play with your mind all you want and still remain convinced that the outcome will be negative. What you truly feel will always win out because you cannot pretend to feel other than you really do. That is why taking the time to find out why you have decided to be afraid is so important.

Feelings and emotions are as ephemeral as the foam off the ocean. They appear, roll you around a bit and then disappear into the wind only to be replaced by another bit of foam – your next emotion, thought and feeling.

It can be quite off putting actually, because it seems like such a no-win situation. Until you stop, and I mean really stop, and fasten your attention on this moment – you know the blazing Now Moment you read and hear about. 

Why? Because it is only in this moment that you have the ability, the wherewithal, if you would, to change your emotion, hence your thought and then your feeling. And, you see, that is the key, the feeling. That is what the omni-verse responds to and by this I mean your real feeling, not the feeling 

you say you are having.

So if there is any fear involved within your belief system, welcome it and ask it why it has come to your attention. It is the reason you are stopped from receiving anything you desire from awareness of enlightenment to the brand new car you are lusting after. The omni-verse has no judgment on subtle desires vs. physical desires. It is all neutral energy. You are the creator. You are the progenitor of what you receive and what you experience.

The energetic signature you use as your cornerstone is your resonate creation. Only you have any control over it. No one else does ever. Either you are friends with all of yourself or you separate yourself from areas of you due to unwillingness to live as union. What will it be? Separation or union? Friendship or antagonism? You make the decision – NOW!

--

Toni Elizabeth Sar’h Petrinovich is a Master Teacher, mystic and quantum physical researcher with a ministerial doctorate in metaphysics.  She is the author of The Call – Awakening the Angelic Human, and its accompanying CD, DNA Re-Awakening,  You – A Field Guide, Finding an End to Seeking, DeLight of the Orbs and Speaking of Light. Toni teaches metaphysics and the sacred connection within through her Meta yoU classes, guided meditation CDs, DVD production and video presentations. www.youaresacred.com
See original post here: http://sacredspaceswa.com/documents/MakingFriendsWithFear.pdf

100 Benefits of Meditation, by Fredrik P.

There are so many advantages to meditation. When I first originally thought of this post, I indeed wanted to make it 100 benefits long (think big right!), however, I wasn’t sure I could find more than perhaps 20-25 benefits. Well, I made it happen! Meditation is as powerful as I thought it would be.

Here is the definitive list of benefits that meditation can provide you with:

Physiological benefits:
1- It lowers oxygen consumption.
2- It decreases respiratory rate.
3- It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
4- Increases exercise tolerance.
5- Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
6- Good for people with high blood pressure.
7- Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
8- Decreases muscle tension
9- Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
10- Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
11- Helps in post-operative healing.
12- Enhances the immune system.
13- Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
14- Enhances energy, strength and vigour.
15- Helps with weight loss
16- Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
17- Higher skin resistance
18- Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
19- Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
20- Decreases the aging process.
21- Higher levels of DHEAS (Dehydroepiandrosterone)
22- prevented, slowed or controlled pain of chronic diseases
23- Makes you sweat less
24- Cure headaches & migraines
25- Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
26- Reduced Need for Medical Care
27- Less energy wasted
28- More inclined to sports, activities
29- Significant relief from asthma
30- improved performance in athletic events
31- Normalizes to your ideal weight
32- Harmonizes our endocrine system
33- Relaxes our nervous system
34- Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
35- Cures infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation).

Psychological benefits:
36- Builds self-confidence.
37- Increases serotonin level, influences mood and behaviour.
38- Resolve phobias & fears
39- Helps control own thoughts
40- Helps with focus & concentration
41- Increase creativity
42- Increased brain wave coherence.
43- Improved learning ability and memory.
44- Increased feelings of vitality and rejuvenation.
45- Increased emotional stability.
46- improved relationships
47- Mind ages at slower rate
48- Easier to remove bad habits
49- Develops intuition
50- Increased Productivity
51- Improved relations at home & at work
52- Able to see the larger picture in a given situation
53- Helps ignore petty issues
54- Increased ability to solve complex problems
55- Purifies your character
56- Develops will power
57- Greater communication between the two brain hemispheres
58- Reacts more quickly and more effectively to a stressful event.
59- Increases one’s perceptual ability and motor performance
60- Higher intelligence growth rate
61- Increased job satisfaction
62- Increase in the capacity for intimate contact with loved ones
63- Decrease in potential mental illness
64- Better, more sociable behaviour
65- Less aggressiveness
66- Helps in quitting smoking, alcohol addiction
67- Reduces need and dependency on drugs, pills & pharmaceuticals
68- Need less sleep to recover from sleep deprivation
69- Require less time to fall asleep, helps cure insomnia
70- Increases sense of responsibility
71- Reduces road rage
72- Decrease in restless thinking
73- Decreased tendency to worry
74- Increases listening skills and empathy
75- Helps make more accurate judgements
76- Greater tolerance
77- Gives composure to act in considered & constructive ways
78- Grows a stable, more balanced personality
79- Develops emotional maturity

Spiritual benefits:
80- Helps keep things in perspective
81- Provides peace of mind, happiness
82- Helps you discover your purpose
83- Increased self-actualization.
84- Increased compassion
85- Growing wisdom
86- Deeper understanding of yourself and others
87- Brings body, mind, spirit in harmony
88- Deeper Level of spiritual relaxation
89- Increased acceptance of oneself
90- Helps learn forgiveness
91- Changes attitude toward life
92- Creates a deeper relationship with your God
93- Attain enlightenment
94- Greater inner-directedness
95- Helps living in the present moment
96- Creates a widening, deepening capacity for love
97- Discovery of the power and consciousness beyond the ego
98- Experience an inner sense of “Assurance or Knowingness”
99- Experience a sense of “Oneness”
100- Increases the synchronicity in your life

It requires no special equipment, and is not complicated to learn. It can be practiced anywhere, at any given moment, and it is not time consuming (15-20 min. per day is good). Best of all, meditation has NO negative side effects. Bottom line, there is nothing but positive to be gained from it! With such a huge list of benefits, the question you should ask yourself is, “why am I not meditating yet?”

If you need a point to start from, you should try guided meditation courses. They are inexpensive and can provide you with a good foundation from which to begin meditating.

Make sure you meditate, there are quite simply too many positives to just ignore it!

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Read the original post by Fredrik P, here.